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DMDU site is up and running

If you’ve missed the notices I’ve posted on social media, or other then I am also going to post this here.

I have all the first chapters ready to publish from the world so those will slowly trickle out in the next month or so. Probably do one every few days. They’re already up on this site, I just don’t want to overwhelm anyone who happens to subscribe right now on the DMDU site.

There are plenty of posts to come too. Things already written that I turned into draft form when I bought the domain for the site. I believe it’s currently in a “probationary” period so if a link shows the “wordpress.com,” you can erase that from them and the links work just fine.

Come by if you love the world, check things out, enjoy and subscribe. https://darkmoondynastyuniverse.com/


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Dream that turns into story idea – follow my creation of this story

Two things to address before I go into this. One, I don’t mind you playing with this idea below, just don’t offer for me to use anything. You can ask my help for you to develop it to write yourself, but I can’t take your idea and write it for legal reasons. I’m happy to help you pursue your own though. 🙂

Two, this isn’t going to be a story that I write (if I do) anytime soon. This is just me thinking to myself, ya know plenty want to see the behind the scenes action in play. So this is going to be the chance for you to see it. I may even go so far as to make a cover and come up with a title just for you to see that too. But in the act of being so public and open with it, my muse may end up becoming bored and tell me, I don’t wanna write it, I’ve already done it. So not only will this process take time and blogs to do. (I have no schedule for these blogs I write – can’t do that at this time.) But overall by the end, my muse may not wanna write it. Also why I don’t mind helping you play with it to write if you need the help. I won’t give you ideas, but I’ll try and steer you with helping. If you get stuck on something, ask away. 🙂


I often have dreams that end up becoming story ideas. The other night I had one and thought I’d write it up here, and include the questions that I ask myself, and overall just show how I turn something like that into a story idea.

Often writers are asked about how we come up with ideas, how we find inspiration for stories, etc. I thought this would be interesting to actually show the process as live as I could. If I play with this more later on, I will try to link to this, and continue that, then at the bottom I will include a list of all that go with this. For now, this will be the process I’ve done so far, and play with it some more in front of you.

Please note too that this is how I do this process. Not all writers use dreams for inspiration. Some do, I am one. I find some of my best story plot starts and scene ideas come from dreams I’ve had. My dreams are very vivid and I remember plenty of dreams I’ve had. It’s not a hard process for everyone. Some just need to train themselves to remember and it takes just an, I remember my dreams affirmation. Plenty of dreams I discard, but those like this one touch a different place inside and I’ve learned to differentiate between “awesome dream!” and I could probably use this for a story idea. Not too hard as some are just too much like life, or the details aren’t there. Say, I dream of a girl on a boat. Technically I could play with it and make it something, but at the end of the day I get more than enough ideas that a simplistic thought such as that one? Just not worth the time and energy to develop. Not when I get plenty of other ideas.

Then again I also have plenty of ideas that get thrown out in the end because as much as they may have seemed to be a great idea at that time? They end up being ideas that may push readers too far. I like them, but they wouldn’t translate well to a page. Or, I’d rather put them out beneath a name that isn’t linked to me. So far I haven’t had to do that. I’m sure one day I might. At least there is always that potential.

Also, as an aside – I do also have more than enough ideas that come to me from regular ol’ thoughts of, “what if,” and nothing more than a sentence. Don’t Go Far came about from me just wanting to write a book with a werewolf and witch, as I’ve mentioned. That was a middle ground too of “what if” thought, or “I want to write a book with ___” and a dream I had, to be factual.

I develop a lot of ideas through the courses I’ve taken, and just come up with random thoughts here and there which turn into story ideas too. So that is also another reason why I don’t always waste my time developing ideas from dreams that have nice thoughts and ideas, but are so blase. Writers frankly never lack for ideas. People who aren’t writers think they should give us ideas, or that they’re benefitting us by doing so, but trust me. I don’t know an author or writer, who lacks ideas. The problem is generally the opposite. Too many and too little time to do all of them.

Also if you have an idea inside of you that you want to see turned into a story? Write the story yourself. Oh, you’ll argue that you aren’t a writer, and you could never tackle something like that. Or you’re just not able to. Don’t have the time, etc. I see plenty offering ideas, plenty who are griping that some of their favorites (George R. R. Martin anyone?) take forever. Well, write it yourself. Writers aren’t magical. They’re like any athlete or artist. They practice, practice, practice. That’s it. This? If practice. Developing the idea? Is practice. Writing a blog, is practice. Writing a short, is practice. That’s the only difference. Rather than say how this is a great idea in my head, or to others, then moving on, I am writing it down, then developing it, and one day may write it, or may not. No magic. Just work. I’m not watching a movie. I’m writing this. I’m not throwing a party. I’m writing this.

I’m going to guess that the reason I had this particular dream was from a post that I commented on from Holly Lisle. She’d posed a question about dreams and characters in writing in her writing forum. Well, it obviously lodged in my mind because then when I went to bed that night, I had this dream.

Since I’m editing Savage Lands, I’m sure that it also converged in my mind to then stir up a nice character based on the alpha in the story. Or, in that story, I deem him The Alpha because it’s not just a regular ol’ sort of well, alpha. In the story he’s not only a big deal, but being one is. It’s based off the traditional “Alpha,” status of a pack. There are plenty who don’t believe in the hierarchy of wolves and the whole alpha, beta, omega system. There are plenty who do.

The story world in which this plot takes place, the structure is a label, which encapsulates the character and who they are. The attitudes they hold. The natural positions they’ll hold. One is born a real Alpha. Alpha with capital because they are born with different capabilities of one who rises in the pack and takes a leadership position as an alpha.

In this story land, someone born pure Alpha holds an ability to heal in their bite. It’s a special saliva in the bite. So they are hunted and near eradicated for such a thing because it also heals a disease. So I base the term Alpha in that book/story world, and capitalize it to indicate a difference, on the traditional term to mean essentially the leader of the pack, but that it means something to what they’re capable of.

What has that to do with the dream? Well, in the dream that character says hello and comes in. The character to the point of him being an alpha (leader and important) and the inspiration I used for said character. He too I think came from a dream I had. Stephen Dorff was the inspiration and it went from there. He isn’t as tall as the character ended up being in my story so of course that is why people like that are “inspiration,” and they go from there. Males in my writing tend to be at least 6 foot on average – nothing against shorter males, I’m just used to that in my life so it translates.


The dream

A human female was pregnant with a Lycan/werewolf’s child. She was pregnant by the alpha, but didn’t know he was aware that it was his. Scent and all. So she was scared of the fact that he discovered not only was she pregnant (werewolf – not exactly a teddy bear in any of my worlds/characters), but he seemed to take interest. I think at that time, she didn’t realize he knew, or that he didn’t know at that time, but realized it from being around her.

The others didn’t like that he took interest – ew, human – in her, and that she wasn’t outright killed for being pregnant with one of their own. Also, since he was him (alpha) and plenty had issue with him, that she was carrying his baby also put her at risk for that reason.

At the end of the dream, he was leading her to a cave at the top of a mountain, where she had to go over wooden bridges and the like, and unbeknownst to her, he’d been dumping them because then she’d be trapped and stuck there. Until he fixed the bridges, she’d have to stay. I believe he did it because then when he told her he knew that was his baby, there was no chance she’d run. Or rather, that if she did run, she’d be having no place to go. Fun times, yeah?


How does that turn into a story?

Well, everything I wrote up there, essentially gives way more than enough for an entire novel, or even a series if one was really inclined. Typically I don’t plan a series out. If I write a book and find that I am interested in more, or there is more there and I can’t logically make it one novel, then it becomes a series. Because I break it into more than one book. Hence – series.

When a writer (moi) comes up with a story plot, sometimes we (gonna use we since it sounds better, instead of IIIII) have way less to go on than the above. Sometimes nothing at all.

Let’s make it a story plot.

Disclaimer – if this inspires you and you want to play with the idea more, then feel free. I would encourage it, but also would always love for people to mention where it was inspired from. I try to always credit and link back to sources myself if I’m able to because it benefits us both. Word of mouth is highly important to any writer.

So when I am thinking about that dream, I start at the most basic part. I’m wondering how she got pregnant. I’m wondering why it is that she’s human, and by a werewolf essentially.

Then I begin to ask myself open questions. These don’t have to necessarily be answered right now, or have a full explanation.

Was she implanted by scientists? Yes, a lot of my ideas involve being implanted, or scientists. Couldn’t tell you why. Just happens. Many writers tend toward some “default,” trends. Like words we overuse, we default to something. I default to werewolves and science a lot. Used to be vampires there for a time, but I’ve always loved werewolves so my mind favors them in general. Science, magic, werewolves, horses, dragons. Some of the ones that my mind is always going back to. Also, ghosts, and demons.

Note the Dark Moon Dynasty Universe world has many of those.

I ask myself more questions when that one spurs thoughts, or I ask questions from other parts of that dream. I allow my brain free reign to simply throw things at me. I don’t put a leash on it, and I never tell it that’s a bad or dumb idea. Do that? My mind will shut down and refuse to play the “oo what about this?!” game. Sure fire way for your brain to completely stop giving you inspiration is to slap it back or spank it and tell it something is inappropriate. We don’t have to use the ideas, they don’t have to go anywhere, but calling ourselves dumb? Shut. Down. No playing. No passing go. No getting $200. No more books.

Beneficial questions (learned from Holly Lisle’s writing courses and over time) are always who, what, where, when, why, how, what if, what about.

Here are some of my free flow thoughts that I had written down to myself last night in Word.


The women are volunteers, or forced, to carry the babies of these werewolves? Is it the only way the werewolves can have more? Implanting female humans? Or they purposely do it to get more of their kind? If so, then why couldn’t they have their own children? 

Or, are the female subjects from some sort of experiments being done in general? They wanted to create an alpha baby so had females implanted and she was the only one who survived? They wanted to see if the baby of a werewolf could be implanted in a human and she was the only one who survived then?

In the dream she was unique for a reason. That she was carrying the child of a werewolf was unique. That it was the alpha’s child was unique for a reason. It wasn’t normal, she’d been trying to sort of hide from the alpha so there was a reason that was important. Or she was trying to hide that the baby was his. Again, for what reason?


Now, if I go along the idea that she was implanted with a werewolf baby, then I want to ask myself more to develop that angle (should I use it). This is where you simply just free flow your mind. Don’t hold it back, don’t wrangle it in. For now the point is to just come up with a lot of ideas, questions, thoughts. Let it percolate in the mind, see which one tickles that whisper inside that makes you want to follow the path. Some writers may want to focus on specific genres because they are strictly a science fiction writer, or romance, but I am a multi-genre writer for a purpose. I tell stories to entertain. I don’t focus on genre, I don’t focus on following genre norms (what you’ll always find in a specific genre). I just write a story that I hope will be entertaining, and one I hope you will find interesting. Maybe even spur your own ideas, questions, thoughts, your own interest in reading more, or becoming a writer even. I mean it’s how I started. I read a book I liked and said, hey I can do that!

So that means I will ask more questions to develop just that sentence, and where to go with it. So . . . was she a volunteer (as I was thinking above) or was she forced into it? If she was forced into the implantation we’ll call it, why? Why would she be forced into it? Is it something that women are kidnapped for? Well that just opens up a lot of ideas too. If women are forced into having babies for werewolves, why? Can they – the werewolves – not have them on their own? Is it something the government is doing to make “soldiers,” or for their own nefarious reasons?

Is the woman, or girl, forced into it because she needs the money so therefore she doesn’t have a choice in that way? Or are the people who are forcing her into it the werewolves themselves, who are in those positions? Government, science, and the like? They’ve infiltrated those positions to make more of their kind. Also note the words I keep using. “Make more of their kind,” “infiltrate,” “implant,” “force.” This may go a lil’ out there, but right there, it goes toward a military theme, or alien theme. So then my brain says, “who says aliens are tall gray things?” “What if they are animals?” “Werewolves are aliens?”

See? Free reign, no holding the mind back. Release it completely. Don’t try to say, that’s ridiculous. Ideas come out. Someone out there would love to read just that idea. I promise. So to me, that’s not really a theme I want to pursue, so I’ll redirect my thoughts, but it is still pretty interesting so I never know. Maybe if it keeps playing around in my mind, I would pursue that line.

Aside – listening to certain music can steer your mind too. So if you want to help your mind steer in a certain direction, don’t hesitate to play with it by playing different music.

We’ll take another path now. This blog will deal with the questions and free flow before the rest of what I do. Okay so the alpha is aware that she is pregnant with his child. We’ll play with that. Is that something he is happy about? Happy not just that he has a child, but that she is carrying it? A human? How does he feel about a human having his child? In the dream, I didn’t get the idea that there was anything different really for him in a human having his child. The others, eh. Sort of. Him? I felt like he was almost a little extra happy at the idea of having a woman give him a baby. Any woman, any baby. As if not only did he not have a mate, but I had the impression it was such a big deal that perhaps he’d struggled with being able to have children. So what if he’d been having struggles getting anyone pregnant? That leads me to the thought of – maybe this is a “paid” thing. Maybe humans volunteer to give birth to werewolf children. What if certain Lycan struggle to have children so they create their own “agency,” if you will. Then that too holds the question – is it forced, or is it not?

I also didn’t get the impression it would be anything but human who could turn into a werewolf on its own. No magic “thing” had to happen to make it become a werewolf. It was just a werewolf. The baby would be born human looking, but it would be werewolf. Mine never really have the rules of shifting only on a full moon. I have always liked the idea of a werewolf being able to transform as they like. So that’s along the lines of what this would be too. A baby born human looking. When it was older, it could transform. Or, it could shift into the wolf whenever? More questions and answers to ask. How does it work for them? The shifting, the “werewolf,” aspects.

Because of that last part of the dream – him trying to keep her at a cave, and not allow her to run – then I wonder if he’s doing it because he’s protecting her, or is it a form of kidnapping? Motive, changes his character. If he’s doing it to keep her safe and protect her? Well, then that implies his personality. Keep in mind, I’m not using this from the character who inspired the dream. All that? Thrown out.

So as I’m asking these questions, I don’t know him. I’m also developing him and her, as much as the story. I don’t know if he’s a good guy, if he’s all animal. I don’t know who she is. Is she essentially a prisoner to them, as much as will be to him if the story goes that way? Or is she a willing participant? Because those answers also say who she is, and give story plot. If she’s willing, that’s one character attribute. If she’s not, that’s another character attribute. Both of those shift the story plot.

Back to the idea about him keeping her in the cave. Is he protecting her by doing so? Is all that because he’s a good man, and animal? A decent version of a werewolf? Or is he keeping her there for selfish reasons? Answers to these questions form the story, and where it goes, as much as where the character does.

So as you can see by all those things that are coming to mind, I’m not just developing character and story depending on choices, and answers that I head toward, but there is also more to all that above. I’m not limiting myself, I’m not throwing out ideas.

Everything above is something that I have had pop in mind. I am not attempting to corral anything. Nothing is a bad idea. Some thoughts and paths can’t be followed. Either it won’t fully develop a story, or for me as a writer, it may touch a subject I don’t want to pursue. The paths I follow, the answers that come, will also determine genre. They will tell me if the story is going toward some occult ritual path. As in, he waits until the baby comes, then sacrifices her – totally different path and type of werewolf. Maybe it’s not him though. Maybe the scientists are the occult and are setting him up. Maybe she has a tracker and the scientists are hoping by letting her loose (if she got loose considering she was roaming in the dream) that she’ll lead them (scientists) to where he lives. And that has some sort of occult-ish reason. Or, romance vibe if it brings them together and in the end she wants to help him have the child and protect the child, instead of keeping it from him.

What else can I play with?

All of the questions and ideas I’m thinking up are giving millions of different paths and story ideas to pursue. I am not pursuing one path with any of them. Each one I’ve been following and throwing out is a new path. I could technically combine everything I’ve written above, and use it all, but I just want you to be aware that I’m wiping my mind each time I ask questions. That way you’re not thinking it’s following one path or another. It’s completely new each time.

Okay, I went back to the dream and read it again. So another idea that I could play with is her. What is going to happen to her? What if she isn’t human? In the dream I got the idea she was. But, what if she isn’t even human? Or what if she’s a bit more than human? There is no indication she has to be 100% human. For all we know she comes across as human, but is something else entirely. So then we can pursue that. What is she?

What will happen to the baby once it is born? Will it be born? What if it isn’t? What if he struggled to conceive all this time, and create a child of his own, but realizes that even if the baby doesn’t survive, he has found someone who can have his child?

What about her? I mentioned that her becoming pregnant and having that baby inside of her was unique. So what about her? What is going to happen to her carrying his child? Will she be hunted? Who will hunt her? Who will want to harm her if she’s pregnant by him? The alphhhaaaaa.

Can he keep her in that cave? What happens if he can’t? Will she try to find a way to escape? What if she does find a way to escape? What if she isn’t single, and the person she is with comes looking for her? What if one of the other Lycan help her to escape?

Okay so I will leave it there. This is getting pretty long as it is. I don’t want to kill you with more and more questions, lol. But as you can see, every single sentence has a question that can be asked. Every aspect of it, every character involved. There are reasons, there are questions, there are lines to pursue. If you would like to pursue this and go along with this set of blogs I’ll work on to come up with your own story, feel free.

Or, you can come up with a faux story like I may do with this. Faux meaning that I may never write the actual book. There is a chance I could. If I develop this idea, even make a cover for it, and show my entire process this way, one day I may end up coming back to it (I’ll put it in my “developing ideas,” notebook) and say to self – wow, I need to pursue this! I just anticipate that with writing this all down, my muse won’t be in any rush in the next few years to pursue it. Also because I have a ton of other ideas I’m always playing with so there’s that.

If you’re a writer who wants to follow and show that another mind can pursue a completely different path/approach, feel free. I’d love you to participate in the comments and show others how my mind pursues one path (or multiple as noted above), but someone else with a different life, different set of circumstances, and different thought process can come up with totally different questions.

If you want to do that, or just leave a comment below, I absolutely welcome it, just don’t be rude or I’ll delete the comment. This is meant to help, to inspire, to be fun. To show the process. My process, sure. But then again if you’re a writer and want to show your own, then it’s not just my process. I’m sure people would enjoy seeing that. Up to you.


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Random old pictures

Photos of my dad. If you look closely above, those glasses aren’t part of the mask. They are his. He put the mask on, then his glasses over that. lol This is a photo on the wall in my brother’s room. We have a small montage of photos and items from his Navy days.

Just a couple random photos I found in my FB “on this day,” link the other day. Brother, dad, and yours truly.

Writing/Journaling prompts

Instead of just using these on my own blog, I thought I would share them here. My plan had been to use them to write up a post about each one so if I end up doing so, I’ll link below. If you do, I’d love you to drop your own. I take no credit for any of the prompts below. The idea is to make a journal post, not to just answer it in a sentence. THINK, then write. If I come up with separate prompts, I’ll make a new section, and list far below with a note that they’re my own. I have been considering restarting a weekly or monthly blogging challenge so we’ll see. Those I’ll post below if that comes to pass. These prompts come from 2 sheets of paper I have kept with me since elementary school.

Really.

I couldn’t even tell you what they were listed in. There’s no information on the pages that lead me to where they came from themselves. I assume a book. Just says at the end List based on work by Dave Burmester, Davis, California.) The teacher gave these out to use for our journaling. Outside of that I also don’t remember anything else. Couldn’t tell you the grade I was in. Late 80s – early 90s. And yes, the journal starters are geared toward kids, but I’d certainly use them too. Why not? A prompt is a prompt. Never know what’ll help us writers/bloggers. If anyone knows where it comes from, lemme know, and I’ll post the information. I am writing the list as is.

So without further blather.

Please note – if you take advantage of these? Feel free to link to your site/post below. I’m more than happy to help you gain even one more visitor to your site. 🙂 I will delete comments that may get my site in trouble.

Journal starters –

  1. Describe a favorite toy you had as a child. What made you especially fond of it?
  2. Describe the place where you feel (or have felt) most at home. What makes it a comfortable place for you?
  3. Write a list of at least fifty things that make you feel good.
  4. Describe the perfect day. Put in as many details as you can. Make it a possible day, not a “dream” day.
  5. Describe a “dream” day. How is it different from a possible day?
  6. Who is the person from history that you would most like to meet and talk to? Why? What would you like to ask?
  7. Who is the person alive today that you would most like to meet and talk to? Why? What would you like to ask?
  8. Who is the person from literature that you would most like to meet and talk to? Why? What would you most like to ask?
  9. Compile a list of words that describe you as a child. Compile a second list that describes you as you are now. How are these lists the same? How are they different?
  10. Are you a noun or a verb? Give evidence.
  11. Finish this thought: “If I could change one thing about myself . . . ” (If you can’t think of anything, you might consider telling how you got to be perfect!)
  12. Write a minibiography using single words only, no phrases or sentences. (Born. Empty. Birthday. Four. Vague. Birthday. Five. Clearer. House. Pond. Hill. Kindergarten. Rhythm band. Sand table . . . and so on)
  13. Compile a list of inanimate objects to which you might compare yourself metaphorically. (I am a windmill. I change direction or my thoughts whenever someone talks to me . . . )
  14. Describe an animal that you identify with strongly. Why do you have special feeling about this animal?
  15. Tell about what triggers anger in you or someone else.
  16. Make a list of “I used to . . . but now . . .” statements. They need not be in any particular order order or on any specific topic, but they should be true. Make another list of “I used to . . . but now . . .” statements. This list should be totally imaginative. Which list was more fun to make? What does this say about you?
  17. Write about something that you wanted very much and perhaps worked long and hard for, but were unable to get. What were your feelings then? What are your feelings about it now?
  18. Invent a monster and describe it. Tell where it lives, what it eats, and what it does.
  19. What is your favorite kind of weather? Why?
  20. Describe a time when you really felt fear. What made it a frightening time? how did you feel when it was over? (If you have never been afraid, what might frighten you?)
  21. What is the best book you have ever read? Why did you like it? Did reading the book change you in any way? What way?
  22. Write about what you didn’t do this weekend.
  23. Think of an incident that happened to you and exaggerate it in the telling. Make it into a tall tale.
  24. If you were ruler of the world, what things would you banish absolutely for all time (rain on weekends, eggplant, and so forth)? Make a list. Use your imagination.
  25. If you could go back in time anywhere and “anywhen,” where/when would you go and why?
  26. What law would you like to see enacted which would help people? How would it help?
  27. What commercial on TV do you dislike beyond all others/ What about it is particularly annoying to you?
  28. What is your first vivid memory?
  29. Design some gadget, machine, building, or other creation that might enrich future life. What does it look like? What does it do? How does it function? In what ways might it benefit people?
  30. What current fashion in clothing do you particularly like or dislike? Explain.
  31. Convince someone why music or art or computers are important in your life. Make them appreciate your viewpoint.
  32. If you had $100,000, how would you spent it?
  33. Be a building you know well. Talk about your life and memories.
  34. You are to tell a person from a distant planet or from another era what pollution is. Make that person understand what causes it and why it is bad.
  35. If you were one inch tall, what are some of the things you would do that you cannot do now?
  36. If you could do something that you’ve never done before, what would it be? Why would you want to do it?
  37. Begin a list of questions that you’d like to have answered. They may be about the future or the past.
  38. What do you consider your greatest accomplishment to date and why?
  39. Write one characteristic or habit about yourself that you like and describe it. Or write about one thing you don’t like about yourself.
  40. What is your hobby? Why do you enjoy it?
  41. If you could go somewhere you’ve never gone before, where would you go? Why?
  42. List as many reasons as you can for putting “people” on the endangered species list.
  43. You have been given the power to talk to animals. Which animals would you like to talk to? What questions would you ask?
  44. Choose the first word that comes to mind and begin clustering. Where does your thinking take you?
  45. What, if anything, would you be willing to fight or even die for? Explain your answer.
  46. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? Why would you make this change?
  47. Tell about a dream you have had. If you cannot remember a dream, create one. If you can, try to analyze the dream.
  48. Is there any machine you feel you could not live without? Explain.
  49. Write about what you think you will be like and what you will be going ten or twenty years from now.
  50. When I start Junior High next Sept, I hope . . .
  51. If I could live the last year of my life over, I would like to spend more time . . . (or I would like to change . . .)
  52. What would you do if you were a substitute teacher . . .
  53. I like school because . . .

As always, if you like what you’re reading, feel free to subscribe below to receive these posts direct to your inbox.

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And if you like this content and/or would like to support me in my goal to keep publishing a book every 3 months, consider a small gift.

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Got the digital format up

Okay, just about to get started in on the paperback for Discovery of an Enchantress. See if I can write this up before I’m called again from the living room. I just posted the first chapter (previous blog on this site) on here, and over on darkmoondynastyuniverse.com too.

Also quick note on that while it’s in my mind. I realized why the links show wordpress in the middle of them. WordPress now has it so that unless you’re paying for the monthly plan (any), it’ll still show wordpress in the link, even if you buy a domain and link it. (Example – darkmoondynastyuniverse.wordpress.com) So for anyone who’s noticed it, even if you remove that part from the link, the links DO still work. I will upgrade to a basic plan soon so I can have that option, but also so it removes the ads. I don’t concern myself too much on this site with the ads because it’s not a big deal to me right now and I’m careful with my budget. I don’t make enough that I want to risk needless expenses.

So just as a quick note in case anyone happens to remember that I mentioned it (wordpress in the links) might disappear. I understand wordpress doing it to bring in more money. Again, not really too much of a bother to me. It can be irritating, but eventually as my monthly funds increase, I’ll upgrade all the sites and remove ads, etc. It was part of why I’d moved from self-hosting to wordpress.com. On the free plans they tend to all the back stuff (worrying over certificates, security, upgrades) so I don’t have to worry over it.

I worry more over sick family and feeding my dogs than whether someone is annoyed with seeing a wordpress ad in their face.

What else was I gonna mention? Oh, I wanted to also say that from now on if you want the Kindle (MOBI) version of my work, you can find that here on my Ko-Fi profile – https://ko-fi.com/kimberlysueiverson. Just click shop. I may include all the other versions of my work as well, PDF, EPUB. Make it that much easier to buy if folks like. For now it’s just MOBI for Kindle. When done with publishing the DMDU world and later on, I will explain why I’m no longer prioritizing Amazon. That’ll be too long to go into right now. So in a few months or so?

Since I haven’t had but a couple sales through Amazon itself in the past year, you may find my work there (for what’s already listed too), and if a 3rd party seller uses it, but Smashwords and that Ko-Fi store is where I will have my MOBI versions. Draft2Digital may have stores as well that sell it, I can’t think of that right now. Tired brain, lol. So if you search for new work, and it’s MOBI you like, keep that Ko-Fi shop in mind. I get more royalties off the books too. I have Discovery of an Enchantress up right now with Mr. Finkle’s Grave Error (free). I will have more as I go.

As I told my editor last night I am prioritizing release of the Dark Moon Dynasty Universe world books, first. Everything else next. So for now you can still find the other books on Amazon, but I will be listing the rest of the world on Ko-Fi, and the other books too. 🙂 Just gimme time. Doing the best I can, and I’m a one person show on top of dealing with everything else in my life.

Okay, back to the paperback for Discovery of an Enchantress.


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Discovery of an Enchantress Chapter One

Previously in Claiming the Enchantress

“Kylarra will bring war upon the vampires and won’t stop there until all the magical races are destroyed,” Mila stated.

“Do you think she has that sort of sway?” Stefan asked, confused.

“She will when the ancient creature inside of her wakes.”

“Then we need to find her. Now.”

Now Discovery of an Enchantress picks up

Mila confirmed, “I don’t think we have much of a choice. If we don’t find her? I’m not sure anyone can stop the war to come.” She went inside the castle to dress, then met Stefan back outside, handing him his jacket she’d worn. She was unable to bring herself to walk away from the castle without knowing, “Will you ever restore it?”

Stefan took in the once grand structure, now fallen to ruin. She didn’t detect any semblance of sadness. “Far too many bad memories.”

Mila eyed his dark beard, tiny flecks of silver here and there—which she hoped he didn’t shave anymore. “Good ones too,” she pointed out.

“How much do you remember?”

Besides the fact that you are everything I’ve ever been searching for? “A lot. Bits and pieces here and there.” With a sigh, she confessed, “Not as much as I’d like to. I remember . . . enough.”

Stefan raised her face with his strong fingers around her chin. Rough fingers she wouldn’t mind back on her bare flesh soon. “In time. I’m here to stay.”

With so much ease, he removed her fears. With so little effort, he was able to take her to a place where wishes came true. The tense knot in her stomach released. Mila closed the distance and slid her hands around his face, pulling him closer. “My beautiful beast.”

She kissed him until he wrapped his arms around her waist and tightened her against him. She slid her arms around his broad shoulders, and he raised her from the ground to mold perfectly into his body. She murmured in pleasure, wanting to take him back inside, but they had to find Kylarra.

Time was important. As much as they’d been waiting all this time, they needed to begin moving at some point or they’d stay here for days doing nothing more than remembering one another’s body, worshipping each other’s flesh. Though her body was in many ways new to him, so he did have to relearn her flesh. Technically.

I have to stop thinking about this, it’s making it worse.

Mila pressed her palms into his chest, murmuring in aggravation for having to stop. Her body had plenty of other fun ideas. Stefan groaned. His beast fought to keep her close. In the end, she eased her mouth off his, her eyes twinkling at him.

“No,” Stefan murmured, tightening his grip around her waist until she almost couldn’t breathe.

“Yes.” She slid her hand down his face until it covered his mouth. “Kylarra. Remember?”

The beast grumbled in aggravation, growled and fought against it. Finally Stefan lowered her to the ground. Mila stared into those eyes of her today, tomorrow, and forever, and didn’t recall ever feeling as happy. All while the distant thoughts of her best friend and that horrendous nightmare circled. Still, they had waited all this time.

Stefan waited even longer granted, but he’d never given up on her. Never stopped loving her. He’d fought all this time to find her again and again. Who did that? This one. This beautiful man she couldn’t stop staring at. The hair she wanted to keep running her fingers through. The beard she wanted scraping across her stomach. The arms she wanted around her all day and all night, day in and day out. The face she wanted to wake up to.

She sighed. Life was unfair, but at least they’d enjoyed this brief period of time. Life called.

Mila forced her feet back a step. “We have to go.” Something in her tone made Stefan chuckle and suddenly grab her, kiss her, then release her.

“A woman after my own heart. We have plenty of nights to make up for lost time.” His brown eyebrow quirked up devilishly. “Even tonight.”

Mila skipped away from him. “You’re deliciously too much.”

Stefan caught up to her and entangled her fingers with his own. “First stop, Lycaen Ridge?”

Continue to read here – https://darkmoondynastyuniverse.com/2020/12/23/discovery-of-an-enchantress-chapter-one/


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Getting Discovery of an Enchantress ready

Went through the book. Jeanie sent it back yesterday. There wasn’t much to be checked out. It was mainly a glance since there wasn’t much to change. Same on my end for this round.

I’m busy with the formatting for it so I don’t want to spend time on this, but wanted to make this quick note in case anyone pops on here and checks. I’m getting Discovery of an Enchantress ready for sale. Should be up by Christmas if nothing comes up in my personal life that makes me slow down. I didn’t write today so I could finish inputting changes into War of the Lycaen, then get to work on this one. I’ll let you know when it’s up.

Gotta take a break right now to go get some eye drops. Eyes always bug me when I format, or do a final read through. They get worked extra hard.

Don’t forget that the final sale of the season is on over at Smashwords – Final sale of the year 🙂


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Final sale of the year

Gifting an eReader? Got an eReader? Wanna grab some of my books? I decided to participate in the Smashwords sale again. All the books that are FIRST in my series are free. If I missed one, lemme know.

All the rest of my catalog? 25% off. Which means that many of the books are actually free. Many of the shorts.

Check out my book page here if you’d like to peruse them by cover, etc. Read a first chapter from any of them before a purchase. All Books

And if you want to grab a book – here is my Smashwords link . 🙂 https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/kimsiverson


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And we begin

I decided for now I will call the novel Discovery and Deception. If that changes, I’ll be open to it, but if not I plan to just leave it as is. No point in trying to rename something I have a name for, and even if not the best, it works. Bonus of self-publishing books – I can change title any ol’ time I like. I can change it years from now if I notice that nobody ever touches it. Sometimes I rebrand, sometimes not. (Got about 500 words in.)

I’ve mentioned this before, but if you’re new, Dark Illusions? Been rebranded a LOT. Used to be called, “Awakened: The Beginning.” Then I saw too many using that as a title, and someone who’d been out there for a while was going to put out a book with that title so I chose to see if I could come up with a new one. Turned out well. I get plenty of compliments on the name. All goes to all of you. It was the popular vote.

Also, started back in with War of the Lycaen. I had begun to input the changes from paper to digital when Jeanie sent Discovery of an Enchantress back to me so I had to pause. Now I’m back into it. I’m on page 8 so not exactly far into it, but this is gonna be a doozy anyway. War of the Lycaen is a long book. It’ll probably end up being longer than I think most of mine have been.

It’s the final book in the Dark Moon Dynasty Universe world so it has to tie in all the storylines, wrap them up, and clean up all the extras. I plan to leave one line open though. You’ll have to read it to find that out. It’ll be a big one.

Jeanie has Discovery of an Enchantress. She just started in on her final read through for it. When she sends it back, it’ll be time for me to get it ready for publication.

And final note is that I think I will be trying out a new newsletter company soon. So if you’re using the form to sign up and see MailChimp, but the form says a different provider when I send out the newsletter in a month or so? Just be aware that is why. I’m leaving up the old sign up forms for MailChimp and just transferring people to the new list until I do begin to use it.

For those who would like to try out new providers and such, maybe just check them out? The ones that I particularly have been liking are HubSpot, SendInBlue, and MailerLite. I have looked at others, but those ended up being the 3 I’ve been most checking out. My biggest leaning is price. MailChimp keeps limited free accounts. I don’t send that many newsletters (right now once every 2 or 3 months) so I don’t need a lot of things, but that limits me if I wanted to grow my list, or grow in general. I prefer to use systems/companies that allow growth, and the reverse without tons of problems.


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This morning it hit me.

Figured I should write this while in a positive mood versus negative, lol. Positive Kim is yay! Negative Kim is I hate the world. What good is it? lol You relate well I know.

Partly the positive is this –

*squeals* and it was posted two days after my birthday? How did I miss this wondrousness?!

They always make me happy to listen to. Something else hit me this morning that really brought me clarity. It was something that I read. A realization came from that. The realization that we’re protected. Whether we see it. Whether we realize it. We are being protected. From ourselves, from pain, from a sh*t ton of things we aren’t meant to be doing. Whether it be right now, or in general.

We are shrouded in a love that we don’t see and maybe at times we don’t feel, but it’s there. I am not a person who is all about God in the traditional sense. I don’t go to church, I don’t do daily bible practices. I don’t have a name for whatever is out there, I just have been noticing something the past few years. There is something there. One thing that I’ve done which has helped me in my toughest times isn’t even praying to God as much as I talk to my dad. I don’t tell everyone that (guess I am now), but I do. My dad passed away in 2001.

My dad was my rock in the chaos. My calming place. My center point. He helped to guide me and when I needed an ear, he listened and that was it. Partly why I have always been grateful for the friendship I found in Colin. Outside of everything else with him and I that friendship is the foundation that held me. Ever since the first day that I began to talk to him. Not even sure he understands how powerful of force that is.

My father gave me that directional point when I needed it. That safety net. That place to fall with no judgement. He taught me that when you love, you just love. Being generous without expectation, tell that person the way you feel now, all of it.

So it can obviously be understood as to why he’s still my go to point. No matter what, I talk to him. He gives me that grounding point if I don’t have one. They always say you can’t love another until you love yourself, and I agree with those now who say that’s not right. Sometimes we need someone else to love us harder than we do, and in those moments we can’t love ourselves, or we don’t, to show us that we ARE loveable. Even at our worst, we can be loved. Not abandoned.

It it not wrong to love someone and have them leave you. It is wrong of that person to leave us and not tell us why, or where they’re at, or leave us in silence. It’s not wrong for that partner to marry their sweetheart and love them completely, and have the person walk out. No. It is wrong of the person who says they love us? To condition it. To walk out without a word. To tell us unless you’re blank, I can’t love you.

I’ll have people want to say, “so if he’s beating me, I should love him?!” One, love doesn’t always stop with physical violence. We can still love them. However, if someone reads these words and sys to themselves, “well clearly she’s for domestic violence,” wow. Just, wow. I have to ask, where is YOUR mind if that’s what you’re gleaning from this? What makes you believe someone is for physical violence? Common sense and all.

Moving on before thoughts like that get on my nerves. Some individuals just want to see hate and negative in everything. It’s where they come from. I mean in their mind, not a place. I’ve been there, I understand that. Still annoys me, lol. Honestly I still battle that. Every minute I am at that cliff. I am with every breath, choosing to take a step back, or step forward. Until someone has been in that darkness, it’s hard to understand how it is always there. Every word, every action. That may be the one that makes us step off the cliff.

To love means to love. That’s it. It does mean having boundaries, it means it’s an action too. Boundaries say, “I love you, but I love me too.” Not more. Not less. Just that we are both worth loving, but I need to ensure I am okay, as much as I ensure you are. Sometimes it means pulling back slightly. Sometimes it means walking away. Sometimes it means holding on more than you ever have before. Every experience is different. Every person is. Every minute is. What works in one situation may not in another.

But love? It’s always there. It always surrounds us. Whether we realize it or not we are shrouded in it. We are smothered in it. I’ll use an example. Take the woman who is absolutely furious with her husband. She is finally done with the marriage and decides that is is going to drive home, and leave him.

Suddenly her engine died. Fine she says. I’ll call a cab. None are to be found. Or the cab accidentally takes her somewhere that makes her sit for a while. Everything seems against her! Why is nothing for her?! She’s done with this marriage!

Suddenly while stuck in traffic and not going anywhere, a song comes on the radio that reminds her of their first date. In that one minute, she realizes with a lil give, she can change the entire marriage and then things become great again. Or, she gets mad at the cab driver, gets out, bumps into an old friend. They go out to grab a coffee to catch up, suddenly she remembers why she loves her husband. Or, she finds a new interest. I could go on.

We think things are so solid. So predictable. So in our control, but through writing my books, through reading about energy, about quantum entanglements, about all sorts of things I’ve learned more. Not all, just more. We do have free will. But there is also a guide out there. This morning it hit me how shrouded in love we are and we don’t ever see it.

Many might say, oh yeah? Then why the disease?! Why crashes?! Why such and such. One – free will. Two – redirection. Three – sometimes we need to suffer. The whole dark and light, love and hate, yin and yang. In our worst times we see who is there for us. We cannot be protected from ourselves to that degree. We can be protected to the point that we’re given opportunities to see the chances to change. The opportunities to change our path. The chances to see what is there, what we can change, where to go from here.

That is what love is all about. Loving people sometimes enough to let them fall, to hurt themselves, to make mistakes, to decide for themselves where they’ll go.

The hardest part about being in that dark hole is that we don’t see it. When I’m struggling? The LAST thing I’m thinking is, “oooo I’m surrounded by love.” Which is why I’m learning to anticipate and prevent, versus go that deep down into the darkness. Does it always work? No. We can only do so much. Life gets overwhelming. It’s okay. It’s okay to fall. It’s okay not to want to get back up. It’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to be soul deep worn down and want to quit.

You only have to get back up. One more time.

Not have everything figured out. Not have everything perfect. You don’t have to be perfect. You only have to dust yourself off and stand back up one more time than you fall.

That may be it. That may be the last time. That may not.

That’s okay too.

You don’t have to BE ____ to be loved. You are loved. You don’t have to do things perfectly to be worth something. You ARE worth something. You ARE valuable. This life?

It wouldn’t be the same without you.

Think I’m lying? What about that driver you smiled at? That lil girl you did? That nurse you said thank you to. That may have been the first one she’s heard all week. You just made her job worth it. You mattered.

Kindness matters.

That may be the only time all month someone has been seen. You touch more lives than you will ever understand. You touch more hearts than you ever see.

You matter.

You are worth it.

You are more loved than you can ever imagine.

You only have to get back up that one more time.

That may be the moment your entire life changes. That paycheck you’ve been waiting for comes in. The job promotion. The baby. The marriage. The love. The friends. The home. [Insert what you want here.]

I understand how exhausted someone can be in that point. I understand wanting to give up. Wanting to give into that darkness. What would this world be without you? Life is never easy for any of us. It’s tiring. We hurt. We are worn down to the nub.

It’s okay.

We are surrounded by more love than we will ever know. We are not as alone as we think. Even in our darkest moments.


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Thought I better get an update on here

Been pretty busy with work and just trying to keep my head above water lately. I feel like many of you could relate to that. Seems like December is a toughie for far too many. I imagine with all that’s going on, and then having to deal with being cooper up at home, not being able to do as you please, that’s exacerbated the issues. And for me, and anyone who deal with pain in the body, if you’re in a climate that gets cold it is anything but kind on the body. Winter, that is. Yugh.

I’ve been doing much better though I do have to say. Part of it is using a recumbent bike versus my manual treadmill that I was using. I read that hip pain can be worse with walking so that may have to do with it. Maybe just overall being able to get my workout back on track? Mayyybbbbe just a combo of things too. Slowly but surely getting there.

So if you have to deal with a tough December, I promise you’re not alone. It’s not an easy time for anyone. Many also have to face the holidays alone in general so that doesn’t make it easy either. Someone I know lost her husband this year (she’s like a grandmother to me) so I know it may get a little tough for her. But as much as we can be there for people, sometimes it’s important, as I’ve said before, to let them figure things out on their own. We can’t always fix the problem.

I started the final read through on Discovery of an Enchantress today so by Friday I should have it sent off to Jeanie for her final looksie.


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Gearing up for the next book

That erm . . . I don’t even have a title for yet. lol I have it under a working title, which is the one I use for my notes and outline notebook. That is, “Doppelganger,” since it’s basically the entire idea behind the story. That the two women don’t understand they have a literal twin version of themselves walking about in the world. Not twin related, but twin as one looks identical to the other.

Just happens that way. They’re not twins separated at birth. They’re not some medical experiment, lol. It’s just that they happen to look exactly alike. Personality-wise, not. Nothing similar about their personality.

On one of the cover ideas I started to use the title, “Discovery & Deception,” but I’m not sure if I’ll keep that. It just makes me think of a soap opera? Dunno. lol It doesn’t give me the right feeling. I’m sure it did when I first wrote it down, and who really knows. Potentially it will work out. Never know. For right now, I have it on the covers I’m playing with since I started using it on one, and it works. For the writing block tracker at the bottom of the site, I may use a working title like that, or “doppelganger.” Still a lot to figure out.

I am also working on the outline and notes. I have a bunch I’ve written down. May share some if you’re interested. If you are, feel free to let me know in the comments.

I am still trying to figure out how to start it, where to go. Well, not entirely start. I think the best starting point is having him discover the doppelganger right after his wife dies. I can’t say much more on that front because if I do, it’ll give too much away, but I think that is the best place to start it from. It’s where I’ve felt it should start the story since it first came to mind. Usually when that happens is a feeling I trust and it works out well.

Take for example Dark Illusions: The Beginning – Extended Edition. When I first wrote that, it started with Kat running through the dark city streets. When Jeanie and I first began working together, she suggested it start just before (if I remember correctly). Whatever the suggestion was, I’d taken that and altered the beginning. Back then I wasn’t as confident in my ability to tell a good story, or to go with what I felt was right for me. I trusted rules and direction (not just hers, but say grammar rules and what the “advice” is from anyone who’s in the business?) more than what my gut said.

In life I have learned – listen to that voice. Makes me think of the snoring Doberman at my feet. When I saw her picture at 4 weeks old, the gut said – that’s yours. Lot of issues came up in getting her. Lot of fears, lot of insecurities, lot of “this isn’t happening,” thoughts. At the end of the day, I couldn’t escape the “this is right, this is it,” feeling always there. Even if I doubted it.

It worked out that it was the same with that story, and with many of my stories. I just knew the story needed to start with Kat running through the dark city streets. Gut, the “right,” feeling, you name it. So I rearranged a lot of the first chapter quite a few times and finally settled on what you read now. Kat running through the dark city streets.

For the record, that story alone has been altered and redone I’m sure at least a million times alone. What? Whoooooo is exaggerating? Surely not me. I imagine it’s been a million and one.

You can actually read that first chapter here – Dark Illusions: the Beginning – Extended Edition – Chapter One

Needless to say, if you get that feeling it’s best to pursue it. Or, trust in it. It’s not easy and in life (for them pesky life things) you’re gonna doubt it. You’re gonna fight it. You may not trust it. You may be afraid you won’t get it. You’ll be absolutely convinced – it ain’t happenin.

Four years ago, the gut said this was right. Mila was gonna be mine.

It’s not any easier to trust those things for writing. But in the case of a story start, I’ve followed that gut instinct and it’s always worked out well. I’m sure someone out there (definitely more than one) would look at (we’ll keep to that DITB example) the Dark Illusions chapter up there and state – this isn’t how it should’ve started. You should’ve done this, that, I would NOT advise ever doing this!

Everyone has an opinion. Everyone isn’t you writing your story. I did alter that beginning. Even that altered beginning would get critiqued. I could change it to please everyone (majority) who read it. Guess what? Still would be wrong to a crowd.

This is why we don’t alter just to please a critic. No matter what, we’re going to be in the wrong. This isn’t to say don’t listen to advice. Listen, heed, then trust your own self. I admit too that I didn’t trust myself for a long time with writing. I didn’t know what to listen to, what not. That comes from experience, just like anything else. It takes risking being the failure and looking like a dum dum to learn. Same with anything else in life.

Eventually we get to that place where we do listen. Because at the end of the day the story is ours. Unless it’s the difference between being published and not, or making a sale or not, consider if it’s worth that fight. It’s not an answer I can give. If I needed to make money to feed a family say, I’d probably alter to please. I wouldn’t be happy in the least to do it, but until one has been poor, and needs to get that $, it’s far too easy to say, “Well I would never.”

But if it’s not a “I desperately need this money,” situation and you’re willing to take that risk, go for it. More so if you’re a self-publisher. We’re allowed to change stories if we like. We’re not forced to please. At the end of the day, we’ll never please everyone so I go with the decision that brings me happiness. Where I know I’ve told MY story how MY readers want it. As in, readers want the author to tell THEIR story.

I’ve referenced this before on here so I will again. It’s like George R.R. Martin. Could you imagine if he changed Dany to please a crowd who wanted her married and to stay home? To not free slaves? I’m sure someone out there would’ve liked that story. It would’ve changed everything. I want his stories told as he tells them. I don’t want him to alter them based on a reader. Not even me.

I’d lose respect for an author who did that. I have. I’ve seen someone take a fictional world and then apologize to their fans for how it may come across to some. They’ve now changed their bio to reflect that. After that, my interest slowly dwindled and these days I barely keep up with them. Because they bowed to the crowd who didn’t like what they offered. When in reality? Those are not the readers for you if that’s the case.

Writing is not an easy business. We have to be true, even if it makes people angry. And it will. Oh boy it will. Someone will come across this and suddenly hate me with a vengeance for what I’m saying, then will hate my work because of it. Just because. I’m sure there are some who do follow me just to sneer and huff, then snort, “she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

It’s life. It’s human nature.

Doesn’t mean we are wrong, or they are, or we are in the wrong as an individual. Just means someone isn’t pleased with us being who we are. That has nothing to do with us.

Trust what you feel as hard as that can be. Trust that voice (despite the struggle) that says – this.

If that story says this beginning? Go with that one.

Completed Guardians of The Void today

Wasn’t sure if it’d be today or tomorrow. Didn’t sleep well last night so that too was a concern. How well would my brain work? lol I have been on a nice emotional ride with this darn story. A lot of moments here and there where I would tear up, so then on top of lack of sleep from last night it was more of that and all I could think to myself was, “ugh, can I just stop crying?” haha

Not entirely sure why this particular book has hit me so much. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe as I get older as I’ve suspected, I’m more in touch with my gentler side so yeah, the emotions are a bit more intense. I don’t really want to say heightened because it’s not a lack of control over them as much as things touch me more, and in deeper ways now. The more loving side of my personality is the one showing these days. I blame Colin partly for that, lol.

That man. Ever since I freakin’ first began chatting with him, it’s like I had zero walls up against him. He is a person who sees past all the mess and like Jeanie, has just always completely accepted me so I didn’t feel a need for the walls to be up. I didn’t feel that need to be at war. I was able to be more myself and still accepted, mess and all, so those defenses and shields against the emotions slowly settled.

It happened too after I Kendra had her puppies. When I had to take care of Kona and the others, when I didn’t sleep for days on end, and I had to put aside everything me and focus entirely on raising these puppies (who originally my mom planned to sell) for the owners who’d take them home. I’d put everything me aside and focused on raising incredible puppies so that whoever took them home would have wonderful pets. It was similar in that there was no ability to defend against those feelings. Almost like when moms get pregnant and they deal with those hormones and the body adapting for that baby. No matter what, they change. Same with any parent. Well, the ones who do change. I know some parents who had children and still very much were partiers.

There’s that shift inside of a person when they know they can love openly and pour everything into that life whether it a new puppy, a new kitten, child, partner, best friend, anything. Those walls start to come down. A maturity tends to happen with that growth. Maturity that deep down helps the person open up.

I think that’s what’s been happening for a bit now, especially the past few years with me. So as much as I’d like to say it’s one thing or another, I also think it’s a combination. For a long time I’ve had to fight. Hide those emotions. People would shame me for them, criticize me, and attack when I’d show that softer side. It’s taken me a very long time to understand that it’s actually a weakness to hold back. It’s a weakness to always be “strong,” and not simply put the shield down and say, “I’m tired.” Or, “I am dealing with insecurities.”

In truth, it’s not a weakness to feel or to admit that we’re not always put together and not always strong. It takes true strength to admit to vulnerabilities or to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

It’s interesting when you look at many people these days too. It seems there is such strength in screaming and yelling, but it’s not true. I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve been in that place where I thought I was so tough and so brave because I didn’t let anyone in. That I wouldn’t allow myself to be part of a we. I thought I am independent and need nobody so I am STRONG.

It takes a level of bravery and maturity, a level of responsibility to another person and their feelings and life, that I think in truth I was afraid of. I wasn’t strong being independent and not needing anyone. Keeping those real feelings bottled up? Those deep fears that went way beneath the snarky screaming attitude ones? The smug ones? The ones where I had to actually look inside of my own dang self and even see what I really felt, needed, and wanted, and identify those things? Express them?

Do you know what is really hard about that? We can’t blame others anymore. I was abused so I place responsibility for some of that on the abusers. I’m learning that I didn’t say, “hey come abuse me and destroy my esteem!” I mean obviously I didn’t, but when victimized by people as a child, one becomes a beacon for abusers. They take on that responsibility and it’s another level of shame we deal with.

But where my life goes? That’s up to me. How I am now? How I treat people? Whether I look my dark sh*t in the eye and fix it? So I can move on and grow a new life? That is on me. The abusers have stopped. It’s like if you’re punched and continuously tell people daily you were punched again and again and again and–you get the point. If you’re not doing anything inside and bettering your life and self, learning from it, growing from it, then simply screaming into the void that you’ve been punched is what being a victim is all about. You’ll never stop. The abusers still control you.

Some want to live in that state. It gets comfortable. Getting out of that state isn’t comfortable. Not. at. all.

Ask how many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep. Ask how many times my stomach has turned to liquid because when I get stressed it hits my face (helllooooo breakouts – yugh) and my stomach. I can get the shakes. I may not sleep well at night. PTSD is triggered. Which then grows more of the same because without sleep we don’t heal. We don’t think right. We don’t have the faculties to figure our sh*t out. It’s far too easy at that point not to look at self and instead to place blame on others for how we feel. But that is allowing them rent in our head. Control over our own emotional state. Nobody controls us but us. We can say others do, but whether we scream at someone for something they say? Up to us. Not another person.

It takes a lot of work and effort to stop, take a breath, and then react to something. Not emote all over the place. It takes real hard work to realize that even if someone says we are absolute cr*p, it’s up to us to tell them the same back. Up to us to tell them off. Up to us to feel the discomfort and move on, or continue it on and on. Or, try to understand why they say it, why they feel that way, how they can feel that way.

Take a friend saying something that upsets us. I can get triggered by lots of things, very easily. Who is at fault for what comes next? I am. Say a friend forgets our birthday. That is upsetting (for those who enjoy them). Did they intentionally forget? Of course not. Did they intentionally try to hurt us in forgetting? No. Most don’t intentionally set out to hurt another. Not even trolls. Interestingly enough, I have actually had a few great conversations with men who’d hoped to troll me. I remember one even thanking me for the great conversation with someone who had a differing opinion.

So take that birthday example. We can react, or we can try to understand. One separates us more. One brings us closer and deepens the connection. How we react determines what happens with that relationship. How we allow ourselves to react and the words we use next, determines what we think of that person deep down, and shows more about us than them. If I screamed at my best friend for forgetting my birthday, think of what it says about me, not them. That says I value something else more than the dynamic between them and I. Definitely not them.

We don’t want to send that message to anyone. It’s not healthy. It’s not a mature way to handle things with anyone. That level of growth and change requires (absolutely requires) the ability to lose control. To allow the other person to see through to our most vulnerable selves. The parts of us that are scared lil’ infants. The ability to be comfortable with discomfort. Because only when we are in that state of discomfort are we growing. That’s where real growth occurs. For some it means doing things outside of themselves. For others who want the maturity inside and to work on relationships, it means emotional discomfort. We’re effectively going to have to realize that we are not always going to be able to control how the other person reacts. We’re going to have a lot of disquiet inside as we navigate the new self we are building.

That’s a place I’ve been in for quite a while. Now I see when I go through these times, what is really happening. I am healing. I am growing. I am maturing. One thing that happens with that maturity for me personally? Is the side of who I’ve been that I’ve kept on lockdown for a long time. She is only just now emerging. The more loving and gentler natured person. People often confuse vulnerability with weakness. That tears means a person lacks control and blah de blah. We’ve heard it all.

Yet there is a release that happens when those tears come. A purge that even men need. It heals us. Same as when we’re sick and we sweat like crazy. Our body needs that release. Only when we finally do open up? When we finally do begin to drop those walls? It’s that much harder to be as cold as we used to be. We become what some may think of as “sensitive,” but it’s just that we learn to appreciate those moment and live in that love, and yeah, we may cry that much easier. Or tear up.

I remember thinking it kinda silly that some would cry at Christmas commercials. *raises hand* Hi. Yes. Yes, I now do. haha There’s so much love in them, it doesn’t matter about it being “marketing,” for my brain. My brain associates it with the love in my own life, my dogs, and then *sniffs* oh my gawd this is sweettt. *sniffs* lol

So of course when I put myself into a character? Oh yeah, I am feeling that depth of love (I’ll refer to this story as the example) for the dragons as Nala does. I feel the intensity of the moment with her. And *eyes water* as I write.

So lemme tell ya as a former “I am independent and need nobody, I don’t cry at SILLY Christmas commercials!” girl? It’s perfectly okay to cry while you write. lol You know why? Because whatever you’re feeling goes into the story. And it will be absorbed by the reader. They will feel it too. So we’ll make everyone cry basically! I’m only kidding of course. Maybe.

Also it brings depth to what you’re writing. Though you may not wanna erm . . . have others see you while you write or edit something like that because they’ll wonder if you’re okay. lol

I finished this book at – 91,592 words. Been a long time since I finished at such a high level. In edits it may go longer. Usually does. I underwrite in the writing stage.

Tomorrow and next week I will be preparing myself to write the next book. I think I will end up jumping into the challenge of working on that doppelganger story I mentioned.


In other news. I love this comedian.


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Nearing the end of Guardians of The Void

I started to write Guardians of The Void on August 24, 2020. I am nearing the end of it. Not because I’ve been writing faster, truthfully. Just been having some really good writing days so that I’ve been able to get in over 2K words. Maybe it is a tiny speed up. It hit me as I was writing that, I am using a different keyboard. I’d bought the Logitech K120 (wired) that I’ve been considering for a while. I kept going . . . ehhhhh.

Then decided ya know what? I’ve tried all the others. REALLY liked the Microsoft one I purchased. Wanna say 850? 800? It is wireless. The only trouble with that one is it’s a concave keyboard. With my small hands, when I begin to write with that one, it’s hard to keep going. My fingers struggle to hit the right keys so then it hiccups my brain, then everything goes wonky. The biggest issue I have with most keyboards is either that the keys are too far apart, or the keys have to be struck hard to get the what you’re typing for.

This Logitech has been really good so far. To the point that I took pictures of the other keyboards I have and I plan to list them on my old eBay account I used to sell on. Or amazon. One of the two. They’re brand new, nothing wrong with them, but there is no point in me keeping things I don’t use. I don’t plan to list them to make bucks. Just get rid of them mostly. So it’d probably end up being $10 for each. I paid $30 I think, for my other Logitech.

Anyhoo, that may actually be what’s been helping me get the words I have. A good keyboard. People can’t underestimate how worth it they are. They don’t have to be expensive. I found the one I’m using for only I think, $10? Brand new.

I think I only have a week or two of writing left with the Guardians of The Void. Nala just got herself into trouble with her naivety. She can’t be entirely blamed though. After all, nobody saw it coming. Nobody realized that Louis had been watching them the whole time. Even the men who’d been used to war hadn’t seen it coming.

It’s one of those situations that no matter how much you plan, how much you think you’re knowledgeable in a certain area. There can always come that shock out of nowhere . One tiny thing that you may not have considered. One moment that you didn’t plan for and bam. Well, now you’re stuck.

That is where Nala is at currently. She has been used to Louis all her life. The others have. They have been around him, and she is about to realize . . . oh. He is in fact not who we thought. The one we underestimated and believed to be . . . well, an idiot? Turns out he isn’t one. He’s ben playing the role well. I’m sure we’ve all dealt with that. We believed we had them all figured out. We trusted our logic – he is no good! He knows nothing Jon Snow!

Whoops.

He’s actually calculating and been playing you the whole time when you thought . . . he should’ve been believed at face value.

This is about the time I’ll begin to think about what I’m going to write next. I have a notebook with a bunch of ideas so I don’t need to technically come up with one, but if one doesn’t really grab me when I read my notes, I’ll go ahead and create a new idea. I told Jeanie about one of the ideas. More “normal” compared to most of my work. It’s human, and no magic. lol No wolves, no nothing. Just a thriller. Doppelganger type. I like how all the elements interweave in it. I think my bets bet for outlining that particular book more is to come up with a timeline of events of one side of the story (or the people involved) and then do the other. THEN combine them to figure out how to best work it out.

So I write up one set of notes for one of the arcs (stack 1). Then I write up another set for the other arc (stack 2). Then I simply place the notecards (or slips of paper in my case) so it’s a note form Stack 1, Stack 2, 1, then 2. And see how it works. Zig zag of ideas. gonna be as hard to figure out for the reader I imagine as the author right now trying to figure out the story, lol. At least it’s my plan. While (hopefully) not completely pissing off the author or reader. haha

I sent Discovery of an Enchantress to Jeanie last night for her first thoughts. I can’t wait to see how she reacts to the bombshell near the end-ish, or soon before there. She is gonna *jaw drop*. As I did when I wrote the book.


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Fury of a Queen Chapter One

Author Note – The paperback has been submitted for release, so it should be available in the next week if approved. I just uploaded it to Smashwords, and the other retailers should have it up as well. Manually check if it isn’t listed on the main page –


“My Queen, there’s something at Inferno you need to see. Sooner, rather than later.”

“Bradon, give me a good reason for rushing down there,” Kat sighed. “You were supposed to have a night outAway from me.”

She’d assumed Bradon and the others were going out for time on their own. Now here he was calling her and asking her to come down. Not long before the phone call, she got an odd feeling which unsettled her. A presence in the city that felt wrong, off. She’d been hoping to investigate, but Bradon rang and interrupted her thoughts.

“Kat, get to Inferno. Right now.”

She bristled and a growl slipped up. “You’re not Julian, don’t you dare try to order—”

Her soon-to-be not immediate guard cut her off, “Feel anything weird tonight? You’ll find your answer here, Your Highness.”

Then the bastard hung up. He actually hung up on her. Weird feeling? How’d he know she felt weird? Sure, they were intimately bonded, but only Julian understood what she’d been feeling as of late. The feeling came from someone in the city. Someone new. Pissed off to no end, but curiosity got the better of her.

Kat checked Julian’s office, only to find him gone. She swore he’d just been here.

Great.

With a shake of her head, she snagged a piece of paper from his desk, jotted down where she was going. She left it on his desk, then left the mansion. Usually she avoided having someone drive her as she preferred walking, but for a change she used the on-call driver Julian hired to take her wherever she wanted to go. The moment she left the confines of the house, her skin prickled and came to life, her vision clarified. She stared off into the night beyond, taking in the main city beyond their hill.

It was a person. Human? No. Not entirely. Kat couldn’t see as far as Inferno, but she didn’t need to. That feeling of off and an other-worldly presence triggered her in ways she couldn’t explain. Getting inside the car dampened the sensation ever so, but as they approached Inferno it grew. A warmth gradually built that made her skin crawl.

Continue to read here – https://darkmoondynastyuniverse.wordpress.com/2020/10/26/fury-of-a-queen-chapter-one/


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New post up on DMDU

Conversation up on Dark Moon Dynasty Universe website. A conversation between Julian and Kat. For those who wish to avoid spoilers this is best read between Dark Illusions and Dynasty of Moirae series.

Kat was on her way past Julian’s office when the door opened. “Will you come in here for a moment?” He took in the gardening shears she carried before disappearing back into his office.

Kat entered the office as he sat down and closed the door behind her. She laid the shears on the edge of his grand desk and sat across from him with a smile.

“Refreshing the bouquet?” he said, staring at the shears.

She nodded. “I thought pink would be good this time.”

It took Kat many years before the pain of losing her daughter eased, even as little as it did. Every day the anguish remained, but she found keeping a vase of roses from the garden outside, helped. As a reminder, as a symbol who knew. Maybe it was nothing more than the action calmed her. She kept the vase next to the window in her and Julian’s room, refreshing as needed.

A faint smile touched the king’s lips. “That will look nice.” The Queen of the Awakened was not the only one who felt the loss.

Continue reading – https://darkmoondynastyuniverse.com/2020/10/21/julian-and-kat-december-2015/


Note on my editing – Halfway done with inputting changes from Discovery of an Enchantress paper to digital. I might be able to send it to Jeanie for her first thoughts by the end of this month. That’s what I’m aiming for at least. Could be pushed out to the first week of November.


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Getting ready to go over Fury

Editor sent Fury of a Queen back. Said there wasn’t much to change so I will be going over the book shortly, then getting it ready for publication. I am almost at the halfway point with inputting changes from Discovery of an Enchantress into the digital version. I am hoping that I am able to get it out by the end of the month to Jeanie for her first thoughts.

We are reaching the tipping point. Gonna be a lot revealed in Discovery, and then more in War. As I work on these books and get all this new information to include, I’m also getting to the point that I have a lot of information, not just to add to the website for the world – darkmoondynastyuniverse.com – but also singular books around certain characters.

I even told to my editor I have ideas for an almost “next generation” for the world. What I think I’m going to do is make a new series for this world, but it’s not going to be a main part of the world. Or I should say, the main story arc. It’s just going to be all the other books attached to the world. All the short stories and more that I want attached to this world, or put out that is attached, but on retail sites it’ll be easy to find. So a series that connects all of those “extras” together (even novels that will be in this world, but not a part of any specific series), but it more about the world itself, less about the 4 series. Hopefully that’s making sense.

It’s mainly gonna be a way to link to this world so if some random reader comes across one of them, they’ll see the series link and be able to find all the others. It’s gonna be the name of the world itself. Once I know for sure how I’ll write it out, I’ll share it. If I could link two series or a world on retailers, then I’d just mark them ALL as Dark Moon Dynasty Universe. So far that’s not an option so I just use what’s there, but try to make it work. And of course you have this site that has all the lists and the site above for it. The linked list is as follows.

Dark Moon Dynasty Universe (DMDU)

  1. Dark Illusions Series (Vampire – Kat & Julian)
  2. Enchanting the Moon Series (Enchantress – Mila & Stefan)
  3. Dynasty of Moirae series (Lycaen – Kylarra & Verrick)
  4. Eternal Souls Universe series (all of the above, all characters, & more)

I have that on all the pages for the books that are still on this site, and I made one over on the DMDU site too.

I also have this on both sites.

So that way one can look at where each book is in conjunction with the WORLD timeline. NOT publishing timeline. I alter this as I create and publish a story. Also if I update the covers. As you can see in that very last column on the right, it just states “companion stories.” That’s what would receive the new “series” name. When it’s more “world” name.

It may be DMDU world, DMDU, or Dark Moon Dynasty Universe. The retailers will attach series to the end of the name no matter what I use, so that’ll be there too. Feel free to offer which you think. I like the full name, but that’s wordy and long compared to DMDU so we’ll see.


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May be changing the title

The more I write in Guardians of The Void, the more other words for Guardians are popping into mind. I keep thinking about Keepers. The meanings behind the words are a big deal to me so Guardians works, but Watchers or Keepers keeps coming to mind every time I go to use the hashtag and/or see the title.

This may be one I end up shifting the title of when it gets published if that keeps up. Same with Discovery of an Enchantress. I am contemplating changing it from an Enchantress to the Enchantress. Just ends up fitting better overall with everything stated in the books and world. Using an Enchantress also has far different meaning than using the Enchantress. An implies that there are multiple Enchantresses and that potentially more will show. Versus the stating there is one and yes there could be more, but not likely. The more likely thing is that there is only one, and the one is a big deal.

This is why I am particular about titles and what words I use. It’s not as lackadaisical as it may come across when I do my polls and go with popular choice. All terms I put out there in a poll will resonate, but for different reasons. All words I use [in a title] are chosen with care.

Also I am not typing right for anything today. I keep having to replace words, fix them, and alter spelling. Fingers don’t wanna function correctly and that is annoying me to no end, haha. Probably just exhaustion. I moved my room around yesterday so I could get ready for Winter. I usually switch stuff up around Sept-October, and then around maybe April-May or so? Move my bed away from the cold drafty window (yes we have double pane windows, but still = old house), get Kendra’s bed all set up for Winter. If I ever share a video or picture of my room you’ll see a blanket along the wall. It’s like a headboard for Kendra’s bed and where she sleeps. I put up cardboard, then a blanket so that there isn’t a draft near her. Makes it warmer for her to be in her lil nook she likes.

My new view as a I work – backyard. Until Winter drops all those leaves. Lilac bush, Walnut, fruit trees, and more.

As of late she’s only been using it at night. There was a time she went into it night or day, but I think she’s a lil annoyed with how I’ve been making it up – there’s an actual dog bed, instead of a comforter. lol Miss picky pants likes the comforter I had because she’d go down into a nook soooooo when it gets colder, I may give that back to her. Help her stay warm at night.

My helper crew – Kona telling ME off, Kaley telling someone else off because shhhhheeee was on the bed and they weren’t. So there.

It occurred to me yesterday that I have far too many dog beds and dog things in my room. Most of my time moving stuff out so I could move the bed and desk about? Was spent moving dog stuff. Now that it’s Winter though it’ll be a moot point. Minus Mila, they will all more than likely end up using me as their heater. My room doesn’t get that cold in Winter thanks to their little bodies. All depends. Some like to sleep without others fidgeting and moving them about. Others prefer sleeping on the bed with me. Kona and Kaley are the two who generally always sleep on the bed with me. Kona, especially.

Working today on inputting changes from paper version of Discovery of an Enchantress, to the digital version.


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Knew I’d forget

I did. Totally admit it. Not only did I forget to fix the comments right after publishing as I said I would, (done!) but I also forgot what I was talking about. My eyes were getting blurry. I was beyond tired by the time I posted the blog the other night. At that time of night everything gets a lil’ hard to keep quiet and I struggle to focus on anything unless I go in my room. So my thoughts were too scattered.

When I was mentioning challenges and writing on the weekend, I was gonna mention my short story challenge.

Challenge for self, not a challenge I’m putting to you.

I’ve often mentioned I would try this so I am not entirely sure how good I will be about keeping to it. BUT, I wanted to try to write on the weekends. I know I just said the other day I try not to push myself to write on the weekends and here I am saying I want to. GASP. The HORROR of it alllllllllll. I’m a total hypocrite! I’ll save the trolls the effort.

Anyhoo. When I was mentioning that I tend to avoid pushing myself into the weekends and working then on the stories, I was going to mention (again, forgot) that it had a lot to do with working on the same story. I take a break from that story. I did also mean I don’t want to write on the weekends period so feel free to scream the above. I just don’t want it to become monotonous. Any writer can relate. Shoot, anyone with a job amiright? How many times have I heard one person or another mention how that same menial repeat can be the exhausting part? That it grinds on the brain and just wipes you out?

I mean it’s part of why we take vacations. To give ourselves a break, to get a change of scenery, to take a break from whatever it is we need a break from. I’m grateful I am a person who doesn’t need a vacation like others to replenish myself. I have learned small things to do daily, or even how to just dump everything on the weekend and become one with a chair or other object, and just relax as much as possible. I am not one of those people (trust me I get it if you don’t think that’s possible) who always need that change of pace. Just listening to music I like for five minutes can re-energize me in a way that it takes MONTHS for other people far away from home to achieve. I don’t get that same feeling from time away from home. Makes me feel the same if anything.

It’s not that I don’t get tired. It’s not that I don’t wear down. I’m not a saint, either. We all get worn down. We all get tired of doing the same again and again. It’s just a product of having been raised the way I did. I needed to learn to escape in my own way. Even beyond there. My mom loves to tell me how I’d go play behind chairs, happy as a clam, all by myself, inventing games. I’m naturally that loner type. The real loner. Not the mean person who can’t stand people.

I love you peeps! Erm, most people, even some personalities that others hate, can’t get along with, or otherwise avoid – they don’t bug me as much. Think as I’ve learned about human nature and the mind, it gives me more patience, or it’s just me. Dunno. Naturally I have a lot of patience, but I again am not a saint. As I’ve told Colin recently, he has FAR more than I do, which I absolutely adore him to pieces for. So if ya’ll think I have a lot of patience, well I know someone who far surpasses to me and I bow to that level he has.

I know how hard to push myself, when to pull back. I have learned through time to challenge myself, but also when not to. So now, it’s not always good for me to work into the weekends, but sometimes (like this past week) it’s not good for me to push myself into writing blogs while doing a final read through for my book, either. As I did, and I’m suffering the consequences. My eyes are bothering me. It’s 4pm here. I wasn’t gonna try to finish this earlier because they were struggling to focus so I went . . . I will just take it easy right now.

This has taken me days to write up.

I started to also doubt myself as usual. It’s not always super easy to be open for me, and being open can literally just be writing these up. I was also mentioning things that I decided I’d just delete. Went down a path I figured may instigate conversations I didn’t wanna have. Think it was even just yesterday I was telling Colin, I am strict with what I take in, and that even includes conversations. There are certain things we may say or do that we fully understand will open the door to someone poking their head in. So I deleted what may have been a door I didn’t want to have a discussion about.

So my short stories that I want to do on the weekend. As I said before, and I will repeat, I don’t like to push work into the weekends. I know better. That doesnt mean I won’t do it. That doesn’t mean I won’t want to play with short stories on the weekends. It’s almost what I see short stories as, and what they’ve been for me – play. Not work. Which is amusing, I know. Well, it amuses me at least. *whispers* I do find myself a lil’ amusing. Fine, a lot.

Another thing I do want to do is something that I think I have mentioned previously. Again, not sure when that would be accomplished. It’s recording some of these in audio, or video. That way those who prefer to listen, or for other reasons, they can listen. Maybe ya’ll just wanna hear my goober voice, who knows? I’m thinking they may start more with the writing advice blogs. Since I’m pretty random, I don’t tend to go out and out with PURELY advice/Q&A blogs right now – they’re mixed into the rest – but I would like to. Certainly not on a schedule right now. My schedule is the writing M-F, then everything else is up for grabs.

Do them up for people who want to share it with friends, or refer back, so they don’t have to peruse other blogs and information to find it? That sort of thing. Not because I know more than others. Not because I have better advice. I certainly don’t, and as the years go on, the advice will change as I learn more, adapt, grow. My own process will change what advice I give. There is no one way to do things, either. I just know that as a writer, I do love when my favorite writers talk about their process. Even as a reader.

With my short story challenge, it’s also just to get more shorts up in the mix as much as play. I have plenty of ideas that don’t necessarily meet the criteria for novel length. It would be nice to give my brain a break from the main story I’m working on and play with other ideas. It would be nice to keep the creative part of the brain whirring away, even on the weekends.

Though as I stated before, this isn’t going to be every weekened, I’m sure. This isn’t going to be an “I have to do this,” for sure. Just like these blogs? I won’t commit to getting them done daily. I was doing pretty good last year I think? At doing dailies, but then it slowly dwindled because I get tired, bored, and life creeps up going . . . you should focus on THIS thing right now and let your work suffer, lol.

Right now it’s constantly dinging in my head that I want to get pizza dough started so me brain won’t stop switching me to the clock and watching time dwindle away. I need to get that started, but I’m trying to finish this too since it’s been days. I don’t want to take a few more days. lol Got piles of laundry still all over my floor that I’m working through. Somehow the dog pile is always bigger than the human these days. And I already have a busy Sunday lined up since my mom got up asking me to deal with a few things so I’m not sure when I’d have time tomorrow and I’d like to write a lil on my newest short in my head. It is actually in a blog on this site – Calyah

When I was working on my DMDU world, and War of the Lycaen I thought of that story again. It has been haunting me for a while. I played with it for my creative writing course so I want to play with it a little more since I have a few pages already written. See what comes of it, see how long it goes. More so since it’s in first POV and I don’t tend to do first POV in any stories these days. 1st POV isn’t easy for most writers to get right because they just, “I saw, I walked, I this, I that.” When details and settings can be played a lot more so the reader forgets they’re even reading 1st.

So I’d like to play with that. See how much I can avoid using “I” statements and bring out more of the details to avoid saying “I” if that makes sense. Not as a purposeful avoiding (that’d make the story sound awk-ward), but naturally. I’ll definitely be keeping track here if I can. Maybe share bits too.


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Using every spare minute I can find

I am writing these blogs whenever I can find a minute here and there. People have asked how I find time to write daily, or when they have a FT job, or kids, on and on. So I am currently the advice I always give – find every spare minute you can.

That. That is how you write daily. For me though it is these blogs, not books. I miss writing about my characters, I miss offering the advice I do in them, but most days I get exhausted and just go meh. I’ll spend those 5 minutes relaxing, crocheting, responding to Colin or Jeanie, or just zoning out.

I am beginning this after eating lunch. I am finishing my coffee, and fixing to go work on Fury of a Queen. The dogs are acting up as my mother gets up, and the mail is being delivered. A package is coming so I have to go get it. Jeanie just texted too. So I will continue this later.

Annnndddd I’m back at it at 7 pm. I debated being tired and continuing to listen to the YouTube video I was. I found an intelligent young lady named Sydney Watson to listen to. I also have videos I was working through to learn nalbinding. New technique I just learn. Similar to crochet and knitting, you work w yarn and needles, that’s it. Just one needle in this case, but you can make stuff that resembles knitting.

Mila is getting antsy so I may have to switcheroo it up once more and go take her out. I just finished dinner and she knows it. Loves to harass me into taking her out after.

When I didn’t write FT, I would typically write on the weekends. I would write for long chunks, then take a break, continue on. These days I’m so worn out on the weekends that I usually laze more than anything. I try to catch up on other low key things I need to get done.

*pauses to take Mila out*

When I worked on the weekends, doing those long bursts, it was usually anywhere from 5 – 8hrs of writing I would do. I would do about 14,000 – 20,000 words per weekend. Actually fairly simple to what I do now, but now it’s throughout the week, and steady. On the weekends, because I had such long off periods between writing, it was much harder to get my brain back into writing. Much harder to get back into story flow.

Even now I have found that 2 days is my limit. I take the weekend off and by Monday, my mind does actually take a bit of kickstarting. It’s like the old mower I had. Said it was a one pull start, but nope. More so during anything temperature wise 60 and below. If that mower wasn’t warm? Well, I would hurt the muscles in my arm with how many pulls it took. Brother tried to show me up one time only to make me have to harass him about it – he didn’t do it much better!

That’s my brain when I take too much time off. Ideally I would only take one day off from writing, but I have found I am more productive if I take those 2 days off. I’m still in a sweet spot of getting the brain going, and giving it a break. I have learned over time that for me, I need that time-off.

I imagine if I worked at it, I could get myself over time to be okay with pushing a day into the weekend with the writing, but still – brain break. Some may be able to work 24/7. I get burned out on that. If you’ve ever burned yourself out you will understand why I don’t force that.

For those who’ve never experienced it. Imagine you on your most exhausted day. Imagine you at the end of the day before you’re about to slip into bed. That level of “done” inside you? That inability to think clearly, form words? That’s the brain on burnout. Creativity is shut down. You become irritable. Ya wanna cry you’re so exhausted. Many might even figure they are depressed because it is a level of depression. It may just be burn out. Everything in you is done at that point. It takes a long time to recover from that too.

I do admittedly push myself. Harder than I should, but it’s to get a financial buffer. There are things this house needs and my dogs that require $. So I push myself. I shouldn’t. I have no choice. If I did, I may not push myself quite as hard so don’t do what I do unless, as with myself, you are in a tight financial place. Then *zips mouth shut*. I say nothing to that, I get it. I only warn because I deal with a lot of wrist pain, back pain, headaches, and am exhausted quite a lot. Rare I’m candid about how bad it can get, but as with most jobs, it is not easy on the body.

*pauses as my mother needs something*

What was that quote? Writing is easy fro everyone but a writer. Sooooo true. On the mental too.

I know full well how hard to, where that lines well. It’s why I mention constantly that I do challenges. I adjust my routine, I adjust how long I write, what I write, how I write. I have gone from all day weekends to one hr daily, M-F, early in the morning. My writing time is 10-11am. That follows my workout at 9 or so. 11 am is dog time and house cleaning, then 12 lunch, and back to writing (editing or formatting) from 1 – 4pm. Sometimes up to near 5 pm. I have learned that 10-11am block is my ultimate. The sweet spot. Just as the one hour of writing. I am excited to write, but I leave off before I’ve grown exhausted. So when I come back to the writing, I am excited to see what’s gonna happen.

Today it was a place where I literally didn’t have a clue about where the story would go until today. The majority of today’s writing was completely spontaneous so I had no clue that Louis was going to do what he did. Not after treating Nala the way he did yesterday. I didn’t know Nala would send off the riders, or others would come from other cities.

That is what I get from not writing into the exhausted territory. Much of it does come down to having the right mental space. That can come from music (a lot of the time for me) or silence. The type of music too.

I have been chronicling the music I listen to on Spotify for this story. I end up hitting shuffle on this one, and it gets changed as I find more, or get tired of certain songs, but mostly I just have been hitting shuffle now. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/00GwFtlsadCmTabyNi8Aem?si=B7Rh_7x5ShGMW6PftmY2FQ

It’s 7:45, and my brain is slowly beginning to chug chug chug and stop functioning soooo time to call it quits. Also, read: exhausted. I’m free writing. Just mostly trying to get myself back into daily blogging. Got no plan for em. They’re gonna be random as all heck. Well, I normally am aren’t I?

I opened my contact page back up, and after I hit publish, I will fix my comments again. I think it’s been long enough that I won’t keep getting stuff meant for the other Kim. Haven’t since I shut down my contact page and moderation for my comments, then altered my profiles to show my full name. So hopefully I won’t have to shut anything down again. 😊

Forgive me for any grammar errors, more than normal. Again, just trying to get back into the habit so doing these mostly from my phone. Okay, so far the past 2 have been purely from my phone. Yesterday I began the post while I was on my recumbent bike too. 🙈 Because that my friends, is how one really makes sure to blog.

Random picture of the night. Took this earlier today. Mini rose in front yard.


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Louis is the epitome of

Those guys. This may offend folks with discussing this, or it may straight up make them wanna go on the defensive, but others will nod and go yup. I know him. I know that guy.

Note – please do remember this is a fictional character I’m speaking on. Most of my blogs are about my characters. I simply use them as inspiration and go from there. So this is not about a specific person, it’s about my character first. Most of ya’ll are intelligent enough to understand this, but I’ll still disclaimer myself up. If anything these characters come out of traits of tons of people I’ve dealt w through life. Good, or bad. Usually if I use someone as influence, I’m all – this person inspired the character and they grew from there.

Louis is the guy that people say is a good guy, he just doesn’t know how to act around people. The guy who people say, give him a chance. The guy who people say, you’re too hard on him. The awkward guy who just feels off.

I’m finding myself cringe as I write him. I know what he’s about to do right before then and I’m all, ugh. Louis just don’t. lol

Deep down though, not all those are actually nice deep down. As I’ve grown and seen people of various worlds, backgrounds, beliefs, etc., I’ve come to see that even “evil” aren’t necessarily solid evil.

It’s so easy to look at someone, to look at their behavior, actions, and just go – he’s BAD. We see it daily. There’s something about a person that just triggers folks to no end and they declare from one reason or that said person is evil, but personally I believe it’s deeper than that.

Evil is the unknown, the dark, what isn’t seen. How does said person act when nobody else is around. What little acts does said person do when they won’t benefit. When they will gain nothing, who are they? In private, without anyone knowing, what do they plot? What do they think? What do they do?

That. That is who Louis is. When he is alone, he plots against the city he resides in. When he is alone, he is thinking about ways to hurt those he grew up with. When around Nala, he taunts her about Tarqin. Harasses her, calls Tarqin dumb, speaks ill of him, and calls his grandmother an ol’ crazed bat. It’s not that she isn’t crazy, but it’s how he speaks about her as his grandmother.

So when I write Louis, a huge part of me is just wanting to curb his behavior so much. Luckily his language is nothing like Dakota in The Alchemist series (Cessation, Mitosis). Ya know “colorful.” Still, it is beyond difficult to write someone who makes my skin crawl.

Louis is the epitome of the guys who want to hug you and hug you a moment too long. The ones who women say to other women, as they do in this story to Nala, “stand up to him! Tell him back off!” lol And Nala knows? No matter what she does, what she says – she tells him off constantly – Louis won’t stop. Louis knows full well what manners are. He just doesn’t care. He skirts the edges of the law (in their world) so nothing can be done outside of Nala continuing to tell him to back off. Or Tarqin punching him and telling him to stay away from her.

What happens though? Nala becomes forbidden fruit. Tarqin doesn’t want Louis near her? Ohhhh well then. Now he knows what really annoys Tarqin. So then Nala figures ignore him. Well, Louis is always in the center of the city after the dragon riders leave, to stir up trouble against them. So it’s difficult to ignore him, and not all hate him anyway. Plus, he lives in that city, and no matter how many try to make him leave, try to make him uncomfortable, he won’t. They have to deal with him. They being Tarqin and Nala, and those who don’t like him.

Louis never really goes so far as to cause issue enough for him to be banished. Because he’s certainly not dumb. He knows the rules and remains just far enough inside of them to keep himself from trouble. I think that is a huge part of what irritates Tarqin the most about him. He knows that if he, as dragon rider, and one of the rule makers, were to banish Louis then that very precarious line they walk these days between dragon rider and citizen (more so now that Louis is stirring the pot) may just turn. It may be that final nail in the figurative coffin that pushes the city to the edge.

Louis loves to skirt that edge and as much as I don’t like the character? He’s fascinating to write because I have to work out that line, and where is it?

Like today when he slams the door in Nala’s face just after harassing her about Tarqin and insulting the man. He was just acting like she was dumb for worrying over being alone w him, yet purposely taunts her into a corner to make her feel she should be. Then does the unexpected and just slams the door in her face.

As a writer, I’m more of a transcriber. I don’t think while writing. I let them live, I transcribe their actions. It’s in editing that they really come to life. That the stories do, the characters. So I get glimpses of what is to come right before I write it down, but sometimes it’s only right before I type it. Well, that was one of those moments that I definitely didn’t expect of Louis.

I can see now though that the only reason for that moment before? When he gave Nala the information she sought? It was to benefit him. He didn’t do it to help them, to help her. He did it because something of his was taken, and by helping them, he helped himself.

That sums up who Louis is as a person. On the outside, it seems that he helped. He even said he helped.

He helped himself, more.


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