Thursday Sept 16th –
So this morning I was going along writing just fine when finally what this character I’ve been getting to know is capable of hit me. Did I make sense just then? I figured a character out. There. I can’t recall exactly how it came about, but in my mind’s eye I saw Enchantress. Not The Enchantress from my Dark Moon Dynasty Universe world. The one from Suicide Squad.
An image like this one –
Now, keep in mind what I say here isn’t the idea of what you’re seeing, but what I was seeing that related into my story. So nobody who is a fan needs to be all she wasn’t diseased, or a zombie, and/or whathaveya. What I say is in relating it into my character and the story, inspirationally. Not factual to that character they created.
Just to be clear before I go on – if you don’t want any semblance of a spoiler abort! abort! Because this will go into some of the story material. I’ll try not to give it all away.
So in my head, this girl (my character) is like the other “defalne,” because she has a semblance of the disease inside of her. But, she’s more. She’s different. Here is where I’ll avoid that entire spoiler.
I have another character in this world, which I had originally called “The Scourge.” I really can’t recall if I kept that the way it is. I don’t think I did outside of a nickname sort of because when I searched it out, it was used. But that was his name in the dream that inspired him. That is the name I called him to keep an idea of who/what he is/was and it gave me the inspiration of everything he does inside the stories where he’s featured.
A lot of him came to mind when I started to see Enchantress in my head. A lot of seeing the way the costume designer and whoever else worked on Enchantress in the movies came to mind. Those tiny bits of stuff floating off her. The blackened skin. Burning eyes.
My character, Anika, has been called “the myst,” but also the Dezcruiht. In her world, the insult sounds almost like how it’s said. It’s spat out in disgust. Dezcruiht (pronounced fast: dez-croo-it or dez-croot) is basically saying she is diseased. Cursed. Rotten. Disgusting.
So all of that compiled into a similar (in the appearance of what you see above) character. I haven’t worked out all the details for it/her, but the idea has rooted in there so that a lot of that image/gif is influecing what I’m gonna come up with around Anika’s issues. I told Jeanie about it and she really enjoyed the idea.
For those who know Ellie in the world, you’ll know she is essentially Gaia in a way? Like life itself? She can help one of the people living there who is like a zombie/defalne/cursed/half dead individual essentially feel life again. Heal them. She is life and healing. Oh, I just had in my head if she could heal Anika? I know they’ll meet up one day, not sure why. So I wonder if Anika would be for it. I’m thinking by that time? It’s a nada.
I don’t think Anika would by then be all saaaavvveee meee.
I look forward to really delving into Anika’s character, and exploring a character that is inspired from that image above. The image itself, not character. No, she won’t be magical. This is not that kind of story. No, she won’t teleport from one place to another. That is not this type of world. Having pre-created this world, I do have fantasy elements, but they are within a boundary. They are not high fantasy do anything ya think. So she will not at all BE the same as Enchantress. It’s just that imagery. Also, copyright get major boo boo from where her character came from and all – yipe! It was just that visual itself that really inspired me and overcame me.
That ash (I think it’s ash in that movie?), floaty bits, and scorched flesh. Because the “scorched” and “rotten,” comes from Claude in this world in which the story takes place. When I dreamt of that man (where he came from – my dream – shocking!) he was in a hooded outfit I think. And I saw an entire building go up in lava and scorched to pieces, while he walked off. It was a moment to save me in the dream I think. But the ground immediately before him couldn’t be touched because it was diseased and rotten. Beyond him was the lava type scorching of ground. He was in control of it. Diseased. Rotten. Scorched.
So that visual + the character that came from my dream + Anika’s disease really bloomed an inspiration for where I was finally going with Anika. She has a disease in her. But I also know she can control said disease. So what if part of her (a huge theme from this world is things created by “The Scientists” who like to be naughty with DNA and things) may have come from Claude himself? What then would she become if all that combined?
Visual in my head. Visual not telling you. lol
Also, Ellie and her really have a good theme of that as counterparts. Light/Dark. Life/Death.
More so if part of Anika came from Claude. Or, rather the disease that was Claude. We don’t know what those evil Scientists are up to. Prism in Creations of the Galaxy comes from, “Galaxy Creations.” The name is a play on both that company, but also in a sense of the galaxy creating us. A play on God and humans coming from space, or the energy of us, etc. I know I combine a lot of religious and spiritual things in all my work. It’s fun for me.
Galaxy Creations is a place where those who crave children go to have them. I think what really is behind that place? Is essentially The Scientists get to play all they like, get more DNA to play with, and have a chance to throw all those random creations out there in the world to monitor and to make more room for more.
Oh, we have too many of these “human” ones, let’s sell ’em to clear room in our inventory. Yugh.
Friday Sept 17th –
I got the notes back from Jeanie regarding Scorched Silence.
As I’ve been stating, this book is a rewrite of the original story, but it’s also effectively mixing in a new story. So to put it simply – water and oil mixing. How well it work? Yeah. lol She was concerned about just how many notes this one needed, but as I said from her beginning comments I was prepared. She knows I haven’t been having such good personal happenings. So I’ve been pretty emotionally tapped out as of late.
But, as I said – be straight-forward, blunt, and I’ll deal.
So she was.
As I told her the original story was written in a bad time in my life (I mentioned that in a previous blog) and I was working through a lot within it. I wanted to keep the darkness in the world though. The grittiness. The raw brutal stuff. Because people who liked the book liked it. Did it sting a little? Sure. But I know where she’s coming from. As I’ve said, with her she will push me hard to be better. I want that. I need that. I appreciate that. I don’t think the sting of hurt was from her words as much as part of me may well have known it needed more.
Occasionally I will have a deep down knowing there is an issue whether conscious mind allows it. Rare, but also occasionally, I will feel it. This time I didn’t. But the lack of ouch may be that. May just be I was crying all night and most of the morning so I am down to my nub. Struggling to feel. Tired.
And no, it’s not a deep worrisome thing. Nobody died. Just two people trying to work out life issues together and in their own lives when they’ve both been through severe trauma, and don’t know how to life. So learning to life together as they go. It can cause unintended hurt from and to both sides. I think it’s good. Life is sometimes messy and if you love someone, you’re willing to get down into the mud and sit there with them while they figure it out, and hold their hand. Even when each is contributing because you both want to be better for the other.
It’s not as simple as go away and fix yourself then come back. Sometimes the healing only comes if both are willing to sit there and get a little muddy together. To be there. To remain there. In the discomfort. In the pain. Just to say – I am here. I am not leaving. To hash it out. We are a team. The only thing that comes of this is a deepening and healing for both. We cannot hide from the uncomfortable stuff and swallow it. Pretend all is wonderful and perfect. Unless we want to slowly tear apart that relationship and show to the other person there’s no real commitment to a “team,” vibe. Then it becomes you against I. Alone we face the world. When it should be we as a team and we face the world together. We have each other’s backs. Because this, I choose. I choose you, even if it means getting muddy once in a bit to hash out stuff. Figure out how to work as a team.
I think a lot of how (I know I’ve mentioned them bunches) Bodhi and Jenna Elfman are together. I think of that. The connection and the other are their focus. The two friends. Then the wife and husband. Then the mother and father. Then the two career people. They respect all those labels and work on all of them together and for one another. As well as their own lives, but they also ensure that as a couple they work on that part too.
So it doesn’t become you have your life, I have mine, and maybe once a year we’ll work out our “couple,” stuff. When you fix yourself. Great partner that’d be to be around. You have issues and you have to fix yourself to make me happy. Not a good relationship quotient.
I’ve definitely been learning a lot about that lately too. We versus you or I. Us versus I or you. I’ve been working a lot on trying to be a better person for others, as well as myself, so it’s just new to find someone else just as committed to the “we” as I am. And learning that. Learning to be better at that. Trying to be. Not, well you’re too difficult so blah. Doing it for themselves, and for me, and for we. A lot of things can get triggered to heal, but it just deepens the relationships because neither of us go “it’s all your fault,” then go pout and leave each other. Because it hurts me as much to hurt her as i the reverse.
Monday Sept 20th –
So randomly on Saturday or Sunday night I woke in the middle of the night and I think I came up with the main issue regarding what went wrong with Scorched Silence. Kora. When I rewrote the book, I focused on reworking the entire story. In doing so, I reworked Jonah and Duncan too. As well as Andry. What I didn’t do? Rework Kora to match as well. Most of the characters got a total overhaul so when my editor read through the story (this is her as “reader,” not “editor”) she never got too deep. Which meant a lot of what I did write into it went over her head. She didn’t see it because she didn’t like Kora.
Because Kora’s actions and justifications didn’t match up with the story as a whole. She matched up with the previous story in which case she NEEDED to get away from Jonah because he was really bad. But when I fixed him, I made him more sympathetic. Which in turn made Kora not sympathetic. Her actions didn’t match up. I still kept her too similar (I didn’t realize until this weekend I did that) so she comes across as being the cruel one to Jonah, versus her being smart to treat him how she did.
And then because my editor (again, as “reader”) had strong feelings against Kora, she missed all the subtle clues that were in the story as a whole. This isn’t a negative to her, but to me, and the fixes I did/didn’t do. Essentially it blinded her (and maybe many other readers would’ve felt the same) to other characters and reasons for them to do what they did.
So – Kora. That’s gotta be my main focus so it’s not “what a b*tch for doing such a thing!” and more, “that’s understandable she’d feel that way and do such a thing. I can understand her motivation.” Note how one is visceral that character is sh*t and one is sympathetic – I can put myself in those shoes.
How long have I been publishing – nearing ten years. Jan – 10 yrs. This book was written before that. So proof not only can one still learn things, but at least now I have the wisdom and maturity to understand where I can fix it, and what it needs. Faster, especially.
I was going to delay this but I may not have to. It may be a question of working on it and the 2nd at once though. So in that way there may be a delay so I can. So I may boost this to releasing in 6 months, or bump up another in the process. All depends. I won’t know until I get the thoughts Jeanie has for the second book. I told her I’m going to finish inputting the changes and send it to her. That’s why I haven’t moved into deep edits for Scorched Silence.
I’m certainly not going to force rush. That I don’t do. Speed up? Yes. Find ways to? Yes. Cut corners in quality? No. I wouldn’t do that to you. My readers are as important to me as myself. I want to read a book I’ve put the best of my ability into so years from now I’m not pulling it and fixing it. I like to read the work I’ve done. So I want a quality read for me, and for you.
Today’s numbers for Sofrir & Pheirgr of Atalantius Omega III.
Started the book – June 27, 2021
Word count last post – 61,718 words
Current word count as of today – 65,322 words
Total words written since last update – 3,604 words
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