I started to input the changes from the Charred Wings manuscript into the physical. When I went to start working on it, it crept me out. I opened the file, right? And it said “what shall we convert it to?” I’m all, uh wait? No. No, don’t tell me the file is corrupted and I have to retype everything, not just changes! Absolutely not. I completely disregard that reality.

Well *wipes forehead* after some minor (not minor) panic inside, I got the file open, saw that what had been saved was a completely different file in general. And I opened all the original files in the “original files” (creative name, right?) folder to find the one that I was staring at on paper. Found it!

So opened it, resaved it as the “Charred Wings_original,” file, then saved a new one “1_Charred Wings_whateverdateitwas.” So I now have my working file number one to work on. I’m not at all sure why it save corrupted or as another book. Think it was DI series #2 book.

I learned a harsh lesson long ago. Save a backup. And a backup somewhere else. (As in, not same card/folder/device.) If I got my computer hacked this instant and they said pay me or lose shit. I’d be all welp bye computer. Throw it out. I don’t store files, or working files on any computer I have. I won’t tell you all I do use. I have mentioned an SD card, and OneDrive, but those aren’t able to be stolen either. Get something from there? Well, have fun with my weird stuff. Might scare people to see what I have on there and google. That I’ve saved either for inspiration or curiosity on studying alternative lifestyles and stuff. I like psychology, philosophy, etc. So I tend to accumulate some weeeiiiiirrddd stuff to understand mindsets and people. I’m sure I’m on a list as most authors are. lol Also used to just like to look at weird stuff.

Not sure if it still exists, but there was once a site that was called–wait, not saying. Never mind. Don’t want advertise if it still exists. I won’t glorify that stuff. But there were images you could see of REAL accidents. Like, real. Like, I had issues with it. Bad in terms of I had no issue looking at it. Bad in terms of what was lil’ Kim LOOKING at it for?!

Some things one doesn’t need to see. I still recall a couple images. Real people. Real accidents. No filters. Mhm. Now I can’t stand gore. Go figure. I might still be able to look at it, who knows. I have a weird turn off that happens inside when I look at gruesome stuff. It’s like I turn into a doctor. Not always, but sometimes. But show me an animal even being knocked aside to protect a child? I’ma cry. Won’t be able to watch. I am a weird mix of puzzles even to self I tell you.

Anyhoo! So yeah if my stuff is hacked, have fun. But I learned how bad it was to have files all on one device when it failed. Still have my “failed device.” Some part of me is convinced one day it’ll fix itself, or I can get it fixed. By then all the files will probably be kaput or I don’t need them, but eh. I’m often a hopeful lil’ bunny.

So now I backup on top of backup, and print out on top of all of it.

Fortunately the file was easy to find so I began inputting the massive changes going into this one. Why do I say massive. When I wrote this book it was attached to the story I first wrote – Dragon’s Dawn. We will only say that the story was an immense failure. I wrote it too closely to what inspired me without going hey baby Kim, make it your own, maybe? Mistakes we learn on our path. It was also atrocious grammar. My grammar hasn’t gotten immensely better, but better than then! I pulled it long ago, but it wouldn’t leave me. I knew there was a story beneath all of it. People did like the version I wrote.

So it haunted me. Over the years it wouldn’t go away. I finally grabbed it and said this time I will do right by the story I wanted to tell. Why I wanted to write it. Because yes, a lot of it was me working out some dark issues from my trauma. That raw grittiness was also part of the world these people lived. They were animals. Fighting to survive. They’d given up being kind long ago.

But what happens at that point? Beneath it all, there is more to be told. Yes, many give up in that sort of world. Many turn evil and give into the easy side – anger/hate. We see it now. But what happens after pain? Even if we take our life. There is peace. There is beauty. There comes love. From pain we learn to love. Debatable, I know. Everything is.

A lot of that is in my stories. I come from that. I spent most of my life undergoing pain. Do I come across as mean? As cruel? As hateful like they were? Do people think I haven’t known pain because I choose peace and kindness? That I don’t still have to fight daily against giving into that side? That I’m always super duper bubbly positive and yay, life! No.

Maybe it goes down to the age old fight of dark versus light. Evil and good. Yin and yang. The two wolves story. It’s far too easy often enough to give into that negative side of us. Especially when tired. Being positive and kind doesn’t mean you don’t deal with that. We have a choose with each act. Be kind. Or not. If someone tells me I’m a shit, I can react and punch them. Or I can step back and walk away. Or simply say straight out that hurt my feelings, it’s rude, whatever. Which one gets a better reaction? You punch me, I punch you, you punch me. Oh yeah, great results.

Doesn’t mean that it’s as easily defined like that. Life is nuance and individual thoughts, patterns, whathaveyou. But that story only had a lot of my darkness and trauma. And though many liked it, I always had that – I can do better. This can be better.

Now, I see it. When I sat down, wrote out the scenes in the original Dragon’s Dawn, I discovered a new story to tell. A newer version, a better version. More than that, I discovered beneath what I first wrote, that there was a story about a migration of humanity not from another place on the same world, but another planet. A government who’d destroyed the past and rewrote it so that dragons were a myth and as generations went on, they didn’t know that the migrations that happened weren’t from other continents, but from a planet that was dying. An advanced human race whose DNA wasn’t like a normal human.

I discovered a love that looks a bit different than boy meets girl and girl gives him babies. Or boy boy, girl girl, etc. It’s two people who had given up on the world, had become animals just as the world wanted to create, but as the books go on, they learn love isn’t just about feeling warm and fuzzy over your person, but a choice. A choice to choose that person and to fight like hell for them. Because they can become partner to you, will have chosen it. It is about two people who know they can choose to just bed anyone anywhere and have a partner “for a time,” but that’s not an option for them. They don’t want a partner for a time. They’ve had that life, and have grown tired. Life brings them together and they’re all – okay, let’s do this. They want someone who can battle beside them and who will know – that person has their freakin’ back. No matter how bad it gets, they will fight like hell to choose them.

It is a choice.

This story, Charred Wings, followed the original and though it fit well into that world, it needed more. A lot of terms got changed. Like dragon is draachen now. Characters got rearranged. Names did too. Kora’s did not. That name was all hers and will remain so.

Because of all those changes though, this new story had to have a lot of information changed up, inputted, fixed.

So I know I’m going to have a lot more to work up.

I did keep the name Dragon’s Dawn attached. So those who liked it could find it. Heck, for those who hated it with gusto could too if they like, lol. It’s okay peeps I getchoo. I did too when more mature writer brain read it.

Nuttin’ wrong with someone hating our work, not feeling it’s for them, or just aren’t interested. We all have different interests and I’m very glad of that. I would not mind anyone telling me they don’t like my books, but like my blog. Or love my books, but don’t like my blog. Or both. I mean sure, I take it a tad personal. I’m weird, I have feelings even now – I am not the “I have thick skin” individual even after having had insults hurled at me all my life. There are some that when tired just really poke on through those defenses and that’s okay too. I just step back until I don’t feel that “well who the hell are YOU to tell ME?! Hmm? Hmm?” lol

I throw this in for anyone who reads this and buys into the “gotta have thick skin or you’ll fail!” Oh, stop it. We’re human. We feel. Geez. More people need to learn it’s OKAY to feel. Just don’t react on that first instinct of eff you *punches in the nose*. What?

But now the name is the series/world name. Dragon’s Dawn series. I mean I also liked the name so there’s that also the reason I kept it. lol

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Donations help me keep the lights on, heat running, food in the belly, and keep my sites going. Even a small donation can go a long way, and I cannot begin to express my gratitude enough for anything you can help with. As a FT caregiver to my elderly mother and older brother who have a lot of health struggles, I am struggling these days. I have a couple tiers up to check out as well if you’d like to sign up for that, instead of a single donation. More will come as I think of stuff, or I get feedback on what I should add.

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If you like this content, consider a small donation.

Donations help me keep the lights on, heat running, food in the belly, and keep my sites going. Even a small donation can go a long way, and I cannot begin to express my gratitude enough for anything you can help with. As a FT caregiver to my elderly mother and older brother who have a lot of health struggles, I am struggling these days. I have a couple tiers up to check out as well if you’d like to sign up for that, instead of a single donation. More will come as I think of stuff, or I get feedback on what I should add.

If you prefer Patreon (more payment options) – http://www.patreon.com/kimberlysueiverson❤️️

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