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Over the weekend

I’m probably gonna be reading this.

I’ve been wanting to get this book for a few months since hearing about these two, and having interest in learning about the Imago relationship idea. Here’s a good link to check out – Also because y’all know I love me some psychology. The human mind, what it is capable of, how it works, how it connects. All of it. I’m utterly fascinated by it. And learning anything and everything in general, lol.

Simplified, the idea is about the stuff that I’ve been discussing. Since I wasn’t taught (like many of us) the tools to properly form relationship with people (relationship = connection with people), how to properly communicate my needs and wants with others, and how to be in a healthy “we” (romantic relationship), I liked that idea. The information they discussed.

And being more interested in self-teaching, when I came across this information and the book, I put it in my Amazon cart for later. Thought this was a great time to finally grab it since it was on sale. It discusses how to form healthy relationships with our partner, or how to connect with them, why we chose them. I thought that it would have great information for general relationships with people too, not just our partner, or a romantic focus.

This is something, as I’ve mentioned, that I’m focusing a lot on. I began to focus on the idea of conscious relationships around last year? The end of it? Beginning of 2020? lol At SOME point within the past six months I was all, I want to really learn how to find that deep connection I’ve wanted. I want to learn how to be the best version of myself for whoever shows up in my life. I want to learn how to have that love that I know I can have – deep connection.

Because it was ME who always had the issue with commitment, not the people around me. Or better said, the men I attracted (the good ones) wanted a commitment and I ran from it, from myself. So in my life I experienced the exception to the rule situation in most cases. I didn’t see “men don’t want to commit.” I saw, “I will never get married, they need to stop,” in my world. That’s not to say it was always like that, and I don’t still hold those beliefs. But I do still see more men wanting commitment than most women realize. I don’t think the women who attract those men see it. I’m not going to go there in this blog. That’s a lot to unpack. I’ll just state that if you don’t think people want commitment, check in with you, first. I promise you. The majority of people do. That doesn’t mean all so nobody email me all angry – you know nothing! lol

Moving on.

It also helps my writing. Always that is a backbone for me. Part of it is always my characters. As I learn, as I help myself, I always can relate a lot of that to my characters as I have seen and experienced a lot of characters in my life. The cliches, the normal, the nutto, the everything. Few personalities I can think of that I haven’t encountered. Been around so many. It’s always been interesting that me keeping to myself, not trying to involve myself in lives, and everything, people have had such odd ideas about me. They have always been wrong. But eh. I think it’s something I will always deal with because I don’t live my life like the public, like the majority. Just who I am. I do things abnormally. I am abnormal. lol I am the wee lil black sheepie. haha

So you will most likely see a lot of that in these blogs. Also goes with situations I am currently dealing with, but as I learn, I’ll share what I learn. How it impacts me. How it impacts my life, but I thought I would mention it in case you’d like to check it out. I read reviews, but eh. I don’t go by reviews unless 99% are like DO NOT BUY. lol

I won’t share because I’m an expert on it. I’ll share because I come from a background where I have never really even been taught how to have my own life. How to BE a typical human being. Every time that I tried, the rug was yanked out from beneath me. Then I had to fight to get back up, start over. I would try again and life would knock me down much harder. So expert? No. Hardly. I learn from you. I learn from my friends. I learn from everyone else. I am no expert, but if I can help just that one person who has stumbled through life as I have, who has struggled and fought just to be able to get out of bed without crying every day as I used to? I’ll be happy.

Far too many have seen “happy bubbly Kim,” and don’t realize that she has spent much of her life in tears. She has been fighting for her life since she was born. She’s not brave. She’s not courageous. She’s just never given up. Deep inside I see the future I want. More so now. More so as of late. It’s a different life than I’ve led. I’ve done the fear thing. I’ve done the exhausted daily route. I’ve done the daddy’s girl route too. We create our lives right this minute. We create our futures we’re going to be stepping into right this minute. We may fall backward. We may struggle to get out of bed and not hold a belief that we have a future.

But we do. Every second of the day given to us, we have that option to change what comes. By consuming even one article (even this blog), we have redirected our path. What we see daily. That diet in our minds. That too changes our direction. Every second changes our path. The destination changes.

So by reading stuff like this book, I show life the direction I want to head. Not a gutter. Not a black hole. I choose a direction focused more on connection, on love, and on healthy things.

And yes I’m fully cognizant that I have gone there. lol I have gone into the realm of gushy girl who lives among rainbows and unicorns as someone said thinking they were putting me down. I just laughed. Then you go live in your darkness and tell me in five years what you’re up to. Five years ago? I was crying my butt off. I’m smiling quite a bit these days. So which is better? Not up to me. That’s up to each of us. I like the place I’m in. It’s not utopia, but it’s a good place. I like it.

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