Having to think about things

Today I reached a point in Creations of the Galaxy that my brain showed me some upcoming scenes and I had to pause. I had to pause because I saw a potential scene come to mind that I don’t like to write. I was jotting down notes for what may come for Prism, knowing that she is on a planet known for the worst of the worst. The trash of human life go there to be housed as a prisoner, or bounty hunters choose to live there why? Dunno.

Maybe because they know all that exists there is what they have to hunt so it’s possibly like a hunter always living near things to hunt. Practice. I get the idea that not all bounty hunters live there, but I know a few (I’ve written the characters) who have. I couldn’t tell you exactly why though. Your guess is as good as mine. In my head I get the impression that it was so they always remained good at their work. Or maybe they chose to be there because someone like that might find peace around monsters. They know what to expect? That sort of thing. Maybe they are a monster themselves, and they can’t live anywhere else.

Unless I really began to delve into the mindset of a particular one, I couldn’t tell you why they chose to live there. But, it is a planet where the worst of the worst live. It is where some are sent to die. If the planet doesn’t kill them, the people will, or the beings that exist on the planet to keep those said folks in line, and on the planet.

It is not a place one ever wants to go.

And Prism has just found herself there. Like you or I, she is . . . fairly normal in that way. She has no fighting skills. She is not an extraordinary being who can mind zap folks. She is just a woman like yourself or myself could be, who is normal. Every day human.

Imagine the scenarios that may come.

Imagine if you or I were thrown into a prison where the worst of the worst were housed. The serial killers, the serial rapists, the . . . yeah.

My brain took me on a path of a few different ideas that could come of her being there. I am not entirely sure yet why the people who took her left her there. To test skills they may think she has? (She has none.) To see what she does? To see if she survives? Or maybe just to “stash,” her if you will, and see if potentially she lives that long. That long being until they come and get her.

One idea that my brain took me down though was an area I don’t like to write. I don’t like dark horror of the rape variety. I love dark horror. Love horror. Love creepy. Don’t like gore for gore’s sake. Don’t like rape. At all. In any form.

That being said, I also don’t limit writing, or characters. I rarely encounter any semblance of outright rape in my books, but if it comes, I also can’t lie (lie = cut a scene/words/character because I don’t like it). If a story is going along and it happens, I will write it. It’s like I’ve mentioned with Dakota in Cessation and Mitosis. I find her absolutely crude, disgusting, and vulgar. I try to limit excess that she says or does if it doesn’t add to the character or scene, or the story, but I don’t cut just because. So obviously with a rape scene, we don’t need details to know what is happening, or happened. That I will try never to do I can promise you that. It’s like sex scenes. As much as I enjoy a good sex scene like anyone else, at the same time, I don’t like excess of that either. It does nothing for the story.

If it adds to the story, sure. If it truly shows something between the characters, sure. But if it’s just to throw sex into the book to throw sex in, nah. I’m just not gonna do so. I’ll politely close the door on the reader and say, they’d like their privacy, by slipping you into the next scene. I do have books like that (show the scene) so I don’t criticize writers for that. Like in the Dark Illusions series, especially when we get back to Kat and Julian in Fury of the Queen, there is an intense scene between them. Full on.

I mean hello. lol I didn’t remember said scene at all then I read it going . . . *looks around* I think I need a cold shower. lol

So sure, I have books I go into detail for that. Because with those two it truly shows the connection between them. There is a good reason for the scene itself. Not just us to see them in real action. More so because I came to see the reader needed to see them together. We see Kat with Sean, we see Kat with a lot of others. Some have critiqued her (in the beginning) for wanting others outside of Julian, but I actually can understand that better now. She never really let Julian in before. Then she finally dropped all the walls and there could be nobody else after. I know that feeling well. When the walls come down, nobody else can come in.

So in that story I knew . . . we all needed to see them together. We needed to see their power. We needed to see their chemistry. We needed to see what it was between them that was that powerful. Because we all see them throughout their story hinting at it.

We see it the way Kat caresses Julian’s face when she’s sitting on his lap. We see that passion and chemistry that lies between them when Julian adores her button nose turning up in defiance. But we don’t ever truly get to see them as a couple, and I wanted to show the passion and chemistry in live action. I knew we all needed that after everything else.

And to say that scene is powerful is not truly giving those two the justice they deserve. That is a scene where we see why they were meant to be together. We see what sort of love exists between the Queen and King of the Awakened. We see that love and passion we all yearn for (or adore if we have it). We see two who were meant to come together. Not just a sex scene though obviously if that’s where the reader wants to stay, that’s where they are welcome to stay – the shallow end.

But there is something far deeper in that scene. We see a total submission between two strong characters. We see a total commitment to one another that goes beyond death do they part. We see a loyalty and faithfulness, an openness and connection to one another where there are zero boundaries between their souls.

And THAT is what that sex scene gives to the reader who can go deeper and see it all.

So . . . there is a reason for the detailed sex scene. Not just, I need to get off.

That’s what I face with the potential scene that may be coming in Creations. No, I wouldn’t go into detail about it. That doesn’t mean that if the scene comes up, I can cut it just because it may cross a line for some readers and they won’t be able tot touch the book. I will give all the warnings I can (we’re pretending the scene was to come with this, but again not sure if it will).

That’s why I would try to limit as much as I could, but would still write it. Same as establishing Dakota’s character by allowing the words she uses to stay in her stories. As a writer, I have to write the story. That is my obligation. It’s not to freak a reader out, and I myself with my own history. I don’t like to read stuff like that, or write stuff like that, but there is that thin line. What to include, what not. It would be a detail in the story (again, IF it comes up) that would be pertinent to the importance and cruelty of that planet.

Not writing it would be like not writing a T-Rex into Jurassic Park just because it’s scary and some may get triggered by it because of a fear they have of T-Rex. There is a reason to include it. There is a reason that a scene like that should be in a story. Although maybe I should call it detail. Because it wouldn’t be a scene. It would be a detail in the scene itself. A detail that establishes the characters she is dealing with. A detail that establishes anything she may face later. A detail that shows the planet’s cruelty and what she goes through on it.

If it comes to what I saw in my head, it would be a detail to include because of who she’d be with, where she’d be kept, and to show what she’d been through. It’d be wrong for me to write that she were trapped in a cave alone with some creeper killer crazy man, and just say she was hurting and stuck in his bed. Limiting it that much to remove all details to appease a reader who has sensitives (just like me mind you) would do a disservice to the story. There is no scene there. We’d be looking at it going . . . so wait. He’s just keeping her? Beating her? What? What’s she going through? They having tea and cookies?

Being a writer means writing even the hard stuff and understanding that some readers may adamantly hate the book, me for including such a detail, or having people bypass the entire book for that one detail. I’m hoping it doesn’t actually come because that stuff is emotionally exhausting for me. I don’t like death scenes. I don’t like breaking up scenes cause I cry. I don’t like heart break scenes in general because I cry, lol.

I have become a big goobery baby, I admit that. If it’s touching to me in some way, I will tear up and potentially cry.

As rewarding as writing is, these are the scenes that I don’t like to face. So I am really hoping that it doesn’t come, but the more I think about it, and the characters that she may come across on that planet, the more likely it may happen. Prism isn’t a killer. She is just a girl thrown onto a terrible planet, weak, exhausted, and out of her comfort zone. Normally I don’t see the scene coming before it comes. Usually the more intense ones just hit the moment I’m writing them.

So now I’m gonna be thinking about this, and how to handle it right if it comes. I don’t purposely set out to hurt my characters like most, but I don’t set out to also save them from stuff just because it makes me uncomfortable. Or because a reader won’t like it.

By the way,

I still have my freebies up if you want to grab a copy of one of the books, or you have a friend who may like to check it out – Free until end of May If you’d like to, and still offer something, you’re welcome to donate a dollar or something to Patreon too. As I’ve mentioned previously, I just don’t have the personal energy, let alone time, to keep up with tiers so for now that is on hold. I do have a few things up on there though right now. I will have to update Patreon with the information too.


Today’s numbers for Creations of the Galaxy.

Words at last post – 63,800 words

Current word count as of today – 64,731 words

Total words written since last post – 931 words


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