Why it can be hard to learn to self-nurture for some.

I finished publishing Witness to the Moon. Now I’m beginning to work on the paperback. The only real time on that part will come with Amazon’s conversion process. It can take a few hours. And if I screw up? Even the smallest details that have to be fixed can against take hours on top of it. Just because of that conversion process.

I’ve been reading more books on changing our beliefs, our mindsets, and everything. It goes along with my lifelong learning about the manifestation process and permanent change. Just like I’ve said about weight loss, it’s about a life change, not getting one thing. Which yes, many in the manifesting and LoA arena focus on. But a life of true manifesting isn’t instantaneous and getting one tiny thing after another. It’s a lifetime of blessings and love. And MORE. And we have to change US, before you begin to receive abundance.

I have been helping guide some individuals who are new to the process. Helping them helps me learn better too. I see patterns in their behavior that help me learn patterns in mine. As they say, the teacher often learns from the students. I think it’s the mark of a great teacher. To TEACH. They know one day you won’t need them. They know helping their student helps them. To teach their student allows the student to understand the process, learn, and go on to teach others. And they are capable of growing and changing their opinions. If someone never learns and grows, I worry about following them.

That doesn’t mean that on certain things they don’t. But I mean if they learn a better process for achievement or teaching, it’s good that they’re open to change. 2+2=4 yes. But if it’s realizing we don’t need to say 1+1+1+1=4 because it’s a better process, easier, and simpler in the first method? Then someone who can say they’ve learned that it’s better? I trust them. I know that I can follow their lessons because they’d done it, they now know better.

Anyway. Out of the blue I had a huge life lesson smack me in the face about adults and self-nurturing. Here’s how I got there, which is funny. I watched the movie I am Mother from Netflix. Really enjoyed that movie by the way. I decided to look up the song that the girl liked the most. Which happened to be Baby of Mine and it was featured in Dumbo. It was listening to that song and watching the video that it hit me.

There is a point where our mothers stop nurturing us and we need to find out how to do it for ourselves so that we don’t seek others to do so for us.

The problem? Many of us had childhoods which didn’t teach us that. We were taught to be dependent on someone to the point that we needed them more than necessary. I’m referring to those who were abused especially. Or they were taught that by a boyfriend or someone else in those early years. Slowly we were programmed so that the other could feed off of us. To make sure we never truly knew how to be able to nurture ourselves so that we fed them. They used us to drain us of our love to make use feel good.

I’m not going to call it codependency because there are situations as children where we needed to be and I really don’t like that word, I think it’s become overused and abused. We didn’t get put into situations to learn the deepest thing we needed to fill. Which was the nurturing we no longer had. We weren’t taught self love, we weren’t taught to soothe our emotions in a healthy way so some turned to food. Some to people. Some to self harm. Some to harming outside of themselves. People, animals, etc. Unhealthy behaviors. Unhealthy treatment of self.

All to feed that exterior who wanted to feed from us. So a big thing with manifesting and creating that better life? Is learning to nurture and feed ourselves. Many teachers talk about self love, but they don’t tell us HOW. They don’t say, here is a step by step process to achieving that.

Until we begin to really learn and grow and detach from that ego side who’s been running the show, we can’t manifest things that stay. It will come, it will go. It’s a precarious line we walk. All because WE haven’t changed, and that old we is the one who didn’t get the manifestation to stay to begin with.

So how do we learn to nurture self? Just what is it? The funniest thing in the world? It’s just being with you and having compassion, being happy with being there, doing things to make you feel good. Stuff like that. It could be reading a book for one person. It can be having a nice cup of hot chocolate or warm milk. It can be watching a movie. When that boredom comes in, we get quiet, it’s about fighting the urge to react. Fighting against that need to reach out for something else that we’re not giving ourselves. Much of it is feeling a lack within. We haven’t given ourselves enough self love that when we need to find it to soothe, there’s nothing there to grab from.

It’s empty because we’re empty. We’ve given and given and given. We have nothing left for SELF. And self is the one who needed it most. So find ways to reenergize yourself. Enjoy a nice quiet walk, have a moment of silence, talk to a friend. Listen to a song that gets you feeling good. Repeat to yourself that you’re loved, you’re wanted, you’re valued, you’re enough.

It begins with starting the day, taking care of yourself. Far too many reach out, grab the phone, and start skimming Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, the news, or other things. How about a few minutes or hr, all to yourself? That’s become my new routine. I get up, deal with the dogs, enjoy a good hour of my favorite shows that help my brain slowly wake up. I have my breakfast then too. Then I workout and my day has begun in a much more positive light. I also have begun to list to self-affirmation videos and I repeat positive ones to myself off and on throughout the day. Getting my sleep schedule back on track has been a huge help as well because I have the morning time to myself to DO for self.

And it’s been showing in my writing numbers, reconnecting with old friends, making new friends, abundance showing up in my life more than ever before. ❤

   
 
Savage Lands Official Cover

Today’s numbers for Savage Lands.

Started whenever with – 59,307 words

End today with – 66,483 words

Total words written today – ?

 
   

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