What to expect around here and the environment I cultivate for others around me

Once upon a time I did something like this because it allowed people to know right away: if you’re around here, this is what to expect. A manifesto, a bunch of rules, however you’d like to put it.So I felt it was time to update this.

Too many arrogant individuals have come around through the years, feeling superior and that simply being here, they had a right to say and do as they pleased. Because how DARE anyone tell THEM what to do. Because THEY could do as they pleased. You can. You just won’t be welcome here. I choose to cultivate an environment around me for people, and with people, who can interact with a variety of differing beliefs, backgrounds, and personalities. Being respectful and kind gets people far in this world. Be rude just for the sake of it and I reserve the right to delete your comment or block you – don’t make me have to do that. I will not ask of you anything I would not hold myself to. So these apply to me too.

To start: If it doesn’t resonate, let it go, leave it be. People don’t preface everything they say with, “if this is not you, then it’s not about you. If it’s not your life, then it has nothing to do with you. If you’re not like this, I’m not referring to you.” Otherwise nobody would speak. Common sense goes far.

I believe that you have enough intelligence and common sense that I don’t need to police you. That you can think for yourself and know that not everything applies to you. That you are intelligent and self-controlled enough that if I ask questions (and I will) about politics, religion, or other triggering things, you can maintain your dignity and not give into the animal part of your brain. That you will take a breath and answer people without screaming at everyone that they are all idiots and the world is stupid. I believe you’re capable of rational thought and decent adult conversation, even if you’re not yet an adult. If it gets heated, passions arise and we all understand, but I believe you can temper yourself back down and I won’t need to intervene. So I don’t fear bringing any topic into conversation.

Try to be respectful of people here, their life, and their thoughts. If I’m talking about politics and religion and it’s not something you agree with, that’s okay. It is okay if individuals have strong beliefs against something that I am on the opposite fence of. All are welcome, as are all thoughts. It is how we learn, it is how we grow. And I like to learn.

Don’t assume you know my beliefs and my stance on things if you do not ask me directly. If you do and I say I agree with such and such? I’m open-minded and tomorrow I may well say differently when shown a different stance, or a differing opinion that now resonates with me more. That goes for most people who are around me. They too, have their own thoughts. I can agree with you and still not form that as my opinion. I’m agreeing because I see your point and see how you can believe that, and I respect that. Don’t think I can’t stand on a belief of mine. I will go to war against the entire world if I strongly believe in something. I will still not resort to personal attacks. I can argue and debate without calling you names. I will not shame you for how you think, or what you believe in. I would hope that works in the reverse.

I will ask anything about everything. Because I like to learn. I’m not asking because I want the answer, “Google it.” I am asking because when searching online we are only shown a small percentage of truth. We are only shown what Google wants us to see (or other search engines), and I have more than likely spent days and weeks searching online for what you could’ve said in one comment. I am asking . . . because I want your thoughts.

I am not asking questions of you because I want you to tell me what the popular opinion is or what “they” think. Who are they? Your family? The media? Biased opinions? They are not you. I have no interest in what “they” think. I would have asked them if I wanted their opinion. They are not your unique self with your individual brain and thought.

Much of what I post . . . isn’t about you. Not like that. I do like to post things to make you smile, and if I think someone will like it, or to make you think. Sometimes questions are posted from others asking me to. But I don’t purposely do so with ill will. I don’t try to create drama and I don’t go around trying to involve myself in everyone else’s lives. If something I post feels a little too close to home, I apologize. I find I hold deep connections to people and what they’re thinking about – feel free to call it psychic or otherwise – and have heard that far too many times, “how’d you know what I was thinking?” I’m not doing it on purpose. I am simply tuned into people in ways I can’t begin to describe. If that makes you think I’m crazy or you have a problem with it, I’m sorry you feel that way, but it’s who I am. I try never hide who I am and I’m always open. I rarely try to purposely post about people in a hurtful manner, to hurt them in other words. Nor shame them for their beliefs, how they speak, or anything about them. I discuss everything, but I try never to blab and/or gossip. There is a good chance a named individual is one of my characters too, lol.

I am human and I will fail. I will trigger you. I will piss you off. I will make multiple mistakes. As will you. I will not fight with you. I will forgive you; I can only hope you will me. I am still learning. Every single day, I’m trying to be a better person. I have been through more than I ever speak about. My happy nature is because of that. If you try to fight with me you will find, I don’t fight. People fight for me because they care about me, but know that the majority of opinions formed about me have been wrong, or end up falling short. I’m not a “pedestal” girl and if you place me there, I will fall off. Repeatedly. I promise you that. I’ll probably jump off for the heck of it. Right on top of you too because I’m playful like that.

People who are around me consider this a “safe space.” Not to be confused with the new term where you hide. Around here we don’t sit around waiting to be offended. Safe here means you are welcome no matter who you are. Safe here means you are welcome no matter your beliefs, who you voted for, what your preferences in life are. Safe here means all opinions are welcome. Yours are welcome. Disagree with me if you like, I’m used to having the opposing opinion to everyone around me, which is why I’m a fairly quiet person. But also because I’m an observer more than needing to be the center of attention. I’d rather put you there and allow people to shower you with lovely things and attention.

I am a natural born leader and helper. My nature is to serve, to help, to be of service. That means that if I come across as arrogant or pushy, bossy or aggressive, that is the last thing I’m trying to be and I sincerely apologize if anything I ever say is hurtful or harmful. I am far more humble than sometimes I may come across. I’m the first to admit my faults as I’ve been facing them all my life. They are aplenty. Tell me so and I will apologize if I hurt you. The same I’d hope in reverse. We are all human beings and I don’t think many go out of their way to purposely hurt others. That being said.

Troll, creep, and/or be rude and you will then see a side of me that has little patience for those who make it a point to make themselves feel better at the expense of others. You are better than that. You will be given chances, you will not receive more than a few. Nobody wants to invoke the fiery redhead, trust me.

No matter how old a post is, you’re welcome to revive it and comment on it. I try not to put an expiration date on things. Very few things can’t be commented on from years past. It annoys me when people limit time on posts, or close them just because a certain amount of time has passed. Or turn off comments just because a debate has began.

Remember that everyone has their own life experiences and opinions so debate points, argue thoughts, but try not to berate others for those things they’ve expressed or who they are. Or their grammar. Don’t expect others to believe what you do, just because you do. Don’t force opinions. It can be very difficult to be open, even if it’s a small thing to us so try to be understanding of that.

If you have a moment and fear coming back tomorrow, don’t. We all make doofuses out of ourselves. We all get emotional, overworked, don’t get enough sleep . . . and say and do things we regret severely. It’s okay. Come back. Apologize if necessary. It can be so hard for us to just come back that sometimes? That’s enough. Then argue and debate all over again, lol.

I post daily questions (you’re welcome to offer some), weekly creative writing exercises, and inspirational quotes . . . because I like to. Because it inspires conversation. Because people enjoy it. Because it makes me feel good to make others feel good. Because I feel anyone worth something can do GOOD with their reach, no matter how small their pond is. Share as you like. Comment as you like. Discuss as you like. Go off on a tangent because of a comment. Start a whole new discussion ON that post if you like and keep it going day and night between you and other people. Chat about something that has nothing to do with the post. Ask me about my books on a post that has nothing to do with it. Make friends on my posts. Absolutely fine. You are not bothering me. You are not disturbing me. You are okay by me. I am beyond happy to see you enjoying yourself. It makes me very happy to make your acquaintance and that you are here.

AND FINALLY . . . SOMETIMES WE WILL NOT LIKE ONE ANOTHER, SOMETIMES WE WILL BE MAD AT ONE ANOTHER, SOMETIMES WE WILL ARGUE WITH ONE ANOTHER. THAT IS OKAY. WE ARE STILL FRIENDS. YOU DON’T NEED TO SAY AND DO THINGS TO MAKE ME LIKE YOU. I LIKE YOU . . . JUST AS YOU ARE. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND UNIQUE AND THAT IS WHY I DO. THERE IS NOBODY ELSE LIKE YOU AND THAT IS A VERY GOOD THING.

If you know the CHEERS bar, you’ll understand that’s how I want my community to be . . .

xoxo

Advertisements

Share those thoughts! No need to lurk, we're all friends. Thanks for coming by, reading, and commenting.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.