What dreams may come

A visit from the loved ones.

I was woke up this morning by a little booger named Kona, barking. I think the cat decided to creep around by the bedroom door which always makes Kona freak out. He never fails in barking at her for it. I’ve been purposely waiting to feed Dakota in the mornings because it’ll keep her from creeping around, purposely doing that to get Kona to bark, which in effect gets me up so I’ll feed her.

I had a cat before her, Tabitha, who’d come back there and meow over and over and over again. Never learned that I should just wait a bit after I wake up to feed her. Then she doesn’t associate me getting up with her getting food, but rather after I’m up, she’ll get the food.

Dakota has gotten better lately now that I’ve been feeding her 20 minutes after I get up, versus right that instant. But today she did her creeping [ I think], which made Kona bark. It was worth it because it was 7am and I’ve been trying to get myself up by then.

But it interrupted my dream too.

I had this very realistic dream come to me right before I woke up. It was interesting.

See I hold this belief that sometimes those who’ve passed will come to visit us. Depending on whether you’re ready to see them or not, depends on how soon after they pass that they will show. Which is why pets come sooner. We get over their passing easier, quicker, and can handle seeing them. People are a bit harder, so they tend maybe not to come as soon, or often. I’ve even read others who hold the same beliefs.

I can always distinguish those dreams too because of how they feel. A part of me knows inside the dream that I’m dreaming. And they’re never the same as other dreams I have. It feels real. For those who’ve had dreams like that, it’ll make sense what I’m saying. For anyone outside that, I can’t really describe it properly I don’t think.

Like this dream I had (no I won’t go into details) after I began to talk to my fav guy. It had more of a vision feeling, less of a dream feel. They are so different for me. I dreamt about my dog hurting her hip and after (months, or years, not sure) she ended up diagnosed with hip dysplasia . Severe at that. I dreamt about my best friend (at the time) being attacked by her father. Week later he attacked her.

Now, I should point out something that critics would mention. No. It is not an exact science. Talk to anyone who experiences visions and they can tell you the same thing. It’d be rare to find someone who experiences something in a vibrant way that comes true exactly as predicted and when. Life has a way of changing things.

My point getting off track, but coming back to it, the dreams feel different for me. Premonitory dreams versus those where I feel as if I’m visited. Versus the regular dreams. Either way, maybe someone might think I’m crazy. Part of me thinks I am at times. But what does it hurt to believe in them? Nothing.

What was the dream you’re wondering?

It was my grandparents. Been thinking about them a lot lately. About their love. The commitment they had from when they were young to when they passed away. Wondering what it was like. Did they love each other from the early age? Did they hate each other? How’d they feel toward one another, what brought them together? All of it.

Been thinking about a lot of things lately. The past month. Now that we’re in September.

My grandparents when they were young. With a goat, haha.

Right now you’re probably thinking, well that’s why you dreamt about them. It would if a ton of other things weren’t front and center.

I dreamt that they were hanging out in front of their home. (It no longer exists.) My grandfather was sitting next to my grandmother and they were locked arms, snuggling against one another. Sort of similar to this picture, but they were sitting in the chair, hanging out, holding hands. As they got older and my grandmother had to care for my grandfather, I didn’t get to see much like that. I mostly remember her bitching at him (out of love) for being stubborn or a pain in her butt, haha.

They always had a love that I think emulated what I wanted. They were so happy. Even if they weren’t overtly affectionate (that I remember) in front of us, we felt it. It was a love you knew existed, and it was strong. They were best friends.

In this dream I had, they were talking to me, but I don’t remember what they were saying. My dad was there too. Which always is what separates the dreams. It only usually has the people who’ve passed. Or the pets. Not always, granted, but again. There’s a feeling of a difference. Like I can feel who isn’t really alive? Not sure again how to explain. I know! The writer! lol

I remember they were just happy. I feel like I was asking them for advice on my life, or talking to them about something. I felt a pride and happiness coming from them, and I remember thinking about someone while I looked at them. I loved them. I was a kid back then when they were alive so I didn’t express it much. From a lot of what I’ve gone through, I sometimes hide the intensity of my feelings. I can be intense when it comes to love. Just ask Kona! When I completely trust that it’s okay? Floodgates of goodness people. But I felt like they understood that in the dream. They understood me. And were conveying their happiness, love, and pride for me in the dream. Along with my dad.

For some reason I was in a robe and I was going to get dressed, which meant leaving the front yard, going around to the side, and crossing a bridge with stairs. Nothing was between the space. It was . . . blank. White if anything. I went to follow my dad across the stairs, but one broke. He had to go across, get dressed, then come back and was working on fixing the step by lying across the top of the bridge. But I still couldn’t cross it.

Then I was woke up by the barking Kona bits.

I can’t remember dreaming about my grandparents like that before. Dreaming in a casual way? Sure. But not one of those dreams where I feel as if I’m hanging out with them. As if there is a lot of stuff going on that we’re speaking about, but not many words are being exchanged.

I’d dreamt about something similar with my dad. And it followed me being insecure over my writing. Whether I was doing the right thing. Pursuing a career in it. I still remember him holding something I wrote in his hand. Don’t remember the words he said. Just that he was being supportive and effectively saying go for it. Maybe I didn’t remember it actively, but I’d found a newfound strength afterward. A courage I hadn’t had before. An answer to the question lurking in me. Hidden deep within.

Almost like the dream I had with my grandparents. Whatever it may have been for. Even if it was just nothing more than a dream.

I’m glad I had it. Not because it gave me possible answers. Even if inside I’m still scared. But because I got to see them again. Them and my dad are people I miss. So damn much. The anniversary of my father’s death was on August 27, 2017. Would’ve been his birthday too. I’m just glad I had it.

 

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