I consider myself to be a fairly tolerant and laid back person. I try not to let a lot of stuff REALLY bother me because quite frankly, life is too short to let the little stuff stress you out….cause there is always a TON of the big stuff around that will do the job just fine! But I’m human and sometimes some little thing will just piss me off and cheese my Cheetos. And one thing in particular that does is…..MAKE-UP ABUSE!
Now, you may be asking yourself just what I mean by “make-up abuse”. Well, I’m not talking about having someone rough you up with rouge or mistreat you with mascara. I’m not even talking about the blatant overuse of the Avon lady’s goodies, either. (Hey….give her a break….she needs to rest sometime!) Although if cosmetic overindulgence truly was a crime punishable by law… I think Drew Carey’s nemesis Mimi Bobeck and Jim Bakker’s former better half, the late Tammy Faye Bakker (God rest her heavy mascara-laden soul) would have been cellmates in County Cover Girl lock up, with their cell on Revlon Row.
What I am referring to is the complete and utter disrespect and disregard for the cosmetics (and in turn, the people who want to buy them) in stores like Rite Aid, CVS, Walgreens and any of the other discount drugstore chains you can think of. I can’t tell you just HOW many times I have innocently approached a display much like this….
……picked up a lipstick I was interested in…opened it up to see the color….only to find….THIS!
Just WHAT the hell was this poor, unsuspecting bit of pigmented wax put through?? Did someone chew on this?? Was someone’s lips THAT rough?? And if so, someone should tell them they are wayyyy beyond lipstick and seriously need to move on to some heavy duty lip balm….or perhaps some sandpaper in the housewares aisle! No, this kind of trauma I doubt (and hope) did NOT come from someone’s lips. I have observed quite often that some people seem to suddenly discover their inner Picasso’s as they beat about the beauty aisle…
Why??? Just….WHY?? I know sometimes applying lipstick perfectly straight can be a challenge…but I think Helen Keller riding the subway during rush hour could have done a better job than this!
This is a bit better….but I doubt being the poster girl for lipstick on your teeth is what motivates this model to survive on a single grape and a lettuce leaf everyday. Just what the hell is wrong with some people anyway??
Ok….now I will admit…these are extreme cases. Sometimes all you will find are lip prints…
…or eyeshadow shmears….
But any way you cut it…it all comes down to this. The cosmetic aisle is NOT your personal petri dish! Why in the world do you think its just hunkie dorrie to open up make up, use it, and then just PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELF for the next unsuspecting consumer to come across!?!? Do you REALLY think I want to mingle in their mouth muck and eye gunk?? YUCK! GROSS! And Ewwwwww!
Most of these drug store chains have a cosmetic guarantee that you can BUY AND TRY a cosmetic and if don’t like it for any reason, as long as you have the receipt, you can get your money back. Yup! You wont have anything to lose….and I wont be stuck missing out on that latest lip gloss because YOUUUUU had to pop that puppy open and double dip your little heart out. (I REALLY don’t want to think about where your lips have been….and sure as hell don’t want to EVER be in line after you for the spinach artichoke dip!)
So cosmetic consumers….beware! Examine your make-up well before you buy it. If you do find damaged or used make-up, bring it to a cashier or other store employee (who will put it with other damaged store merchandise….which they receive credit for). And for God’s sake, if you get the sudden urge to take a lipstick and draw all over a store display or whatever…. grow up and go change your diapers, you freakin baby! You were supposed to learn to stop drawing on the walls wayyyyy back in kindergarden!
Until next time, my darlings…..