There are times when we do things that we often regret, analyze too much over, worry that it wasn’t the correct decision. I know I face that one a lot. The over-analyzing. I do it with decisions I make, with things I do, things I don’t do. Everything and anything is over-analyzed to a bazillionth degree. I don’t allow myself to feel bad, I just naturally am inclined to thinking too much. I have a scientists brain. I study and analyze myself, and others, for fun. As odd as that sounds.
But honestly I have always believed that even though my mind becomes filled with a lot of fear based reactions and thoughts of should I have done that?, that yes. The answer to that question is yes, you should have. You should have made that decision. You should have said those words. You should have reacted that way.
Because you were meant to.
Now, I’m not this overtly religious human being. I’m not this destiny and fate girl. I do believe in some things, I don’t in others, but it’s always changing. Always shifting with the tides of life. Everything I do changes constantly. What I believe, what I think, how I behave.
The one thing that I always come back to though is that you were meant to do that. It doesn’t matter what the situation. If I did something that I worry over later on (who doesn’t, right?), that fills me with turmoil, and I tend to do the human based “oh my god, I made the wrong decision!” reaction, I have to remind myself of that. I truly believe that everything we do, we do it for a reason.
For a long time now, I’ve been living based on gut reactions, instincts, and those feelings. Ever since the day I was raped because I didn’t listen. They have led me to where I am now. I have never been at a better place. In some ways, there are struggles that I don’t speak of, and maybe eventually I will. But the main idea is always that I shouldn’t regret anything I do. I had to do A to get to B. I had to face B to get to C. I trust my heart and soul. When my heart tells me to back off, I do. When my soul tells me to venture forth, I do. I have found that every little step, no matter how minor I take, is important. It has led me to the people I know, the places I’ve gone, where I’m headed. I am here right now because of every small minute detail of the past.
I’m also grateful for every experience, every person I’ve come across. I don’t regret friendships that have dissolved, or men that have gone away. I have learned that regret is something that eats you up. I know. The one regret that slips in and haunts me is the one that I didn’t listen to my gut. Then I feel shame, humiliation, anger. I ignore it until it goes away once more. I’m grateful for every experience whether good or bad because it teaches me to trust my gut more. I learn from the situations. I go on to a better place because of them. A better mindset.
I wouldn’t be here now had I held back when I was too scared to be open. Or when I walked away when every part of me said not to. When I didn’t take that job that paid a lot, and instead chose this route. Everything led me here. As much as I begin to regret certain decisions, I stop myself. I then remind myself. I am here now because of all those choices. Those choices and the choices I make right this second, are leading me to better and greater things. To the dream I want.
Because a funny thing happens when you make up your mind. Life will do everything in its power to fulfill your dreams. But it will also make sure that you rid yourself of anything holding back from that. Even if it means say walking away from a job or friendship that may later on come back and be better than ever. Or not.
Don’t regret decisions you make. For every small thing you do, is leading you to the path that will fulfill what your heart desires. Even if it doesn’t seem that way right this second. You are on that path. You may not see it because you may have to build it yourself, so it’s not laid out already ahead of you, but it is there.
Trust yourself. Trust your heart. Trust your soul.
Don’t be so afraid of what you don’t know.
We are in this together.